Thank you so much all for your kind words - I feel very much like I am letting her down. I also feel so guilty for having to work. It appears like no one else does (or can arrange suitable working hours) and whilst normally that doesn't bother me, it really is.
Two of the mums have offered to have her but I am worried that this is too much of a burden as they don't want anything in return (we've only met about 3 times each) and I have put feelers out for a Nanny type set up thinking that at least being home may help. Just have to see how things roll and get DH on board with whatever is best for us all.