When things just don't workout the way you thought they would

[Maruschke]

You do have to look at it holistically and work out at what point it becomes your need to continue BF'ing through problems as opposed to her needing it kwim? I think there is a lot to be said for talking a that view of it - I can't see any point in battling every feed for god knows how long, just to be able to say you did it, when all that time you could have been enjoying every moment of newborn feeding instead of spending every waking moment dreading trying to get it to work. Because this stage is such a short period in their lives that you don't want to reflect back on it in years to come and only have bad memories kwim?

Brilliant point!

[tiggerlinda]

Great point Shreee and that is what we did at the time what was best for us so we could enjoy our time as baby and Mum.

I in no way upset by my move for me it was always on the cards so knowing she is healthy is the most important thing.

Thanks for your story too

[AliBaby]

Trill you are so lovely. What a beautiful post to Linda...

[MantaRay]

TL, thank you so much for sharing. I am sorry that at times when you needed support you didn't feel able to ask for it. But I am so glad that you are able to share now to help others. I hope that this is a community where people can post about how they really feel and what is going on, without fear of judgement. At the end of the day things usually don't go as planned with babies, and we are all just trying to do the best we can.

I think you are doing an amazing job with your DD hun.

[Amaunet]

TL - thanks for sharing your story. As someone who is yet to go through labour/birth, breastfeeding and all the other new experiences/decisions a baby will bring - your story is inspiring. All the decisions you and your DH made were the best for you, your Miss C and your family - anyone who judges you for that probably has a lot of issues of their own they need to deal with (IMO). This forum is richer for wonderful women and mothers like you who offer so much to other members. I hope I have your courage and grace when its my turn.

[Acacia]

Linda hun, I often think about you and the thoughts that come up are "Geez Linda is one strong, amazing Mum." The reason I think this is both because of your journey to have Miss C in your life, and the way you are being a Mummy now.

You have had such a rough, difficult journey. So many cycles of IVF. So many heartbreaks before even having the huge scare in your pregnancy with Miss C. Then you thought you had lost your precious baby. And then you've had to make difficult decisions not just for the best thing for your baby, but your OWN health in deciding on your CS. I thought "Linda is one strong lady, she is forthright, she is determined, she has had huge struggles and she gets back up and keeps working away for what she knows is the best thing."

I was so proud of you for deciding the things you did for you birth, and you had a *wonderful* birth - something to be so very proud of! Miss C came into the world into her adoring mother and father's arms in the way that was *completely* right for you and Miss C.

Since then you've been tirelessly doing everything you can to give your baby girl the best start to her life, whilst making sure that her Mum is well also. Hard decisions to make again. Full time expressing is HARD and it's something I could never have considered doing with a newborn baby let alone now. Yet you did this to give your baby the best you could. And you have continued to make strong, thoughtful decisions about the best way to give you baby a settled, happy time with her settled, happy HEALTHY Mum. And this is *the* most important thing that you can give her, ahead of anything else. Settled. Happy. Well fed. Full stop.

On top of all of this, you have started up your own business and I continue to think "Wowee, Linda is one amazing woman!"

And through all of this, you show the most wonderful, loving and caring support for so many of us here on BB. You are one special, special lady. Don't you ever doubt that. All the decisions you have made are because of the love that's inside you - for your baby, for yourself, for your family, for your friends on BB. There is so much love in Linda from my perspective! Yes, things worked out differently than your expectation, but this is one of the things I have found is the biggest, most important lesson to learn as a new mum. Things aren't always what you expect, and they change constantly in any case.

In fact, you get to make things better than you expect and that is exactly what you are doing hun. You're absolutely super. And I admire you so very very much for the person you are, what you have been through.

I'm so glad you came and expressed yourself and shared what has been going on for you and I really hope it has made a great big difference and helped you to let go of it and make peace with the things that didn't work out the way you thought they would.

Biiiiig hugs.

[tiggerlinda]

miss c you have me in tears thanks sweetie

[dusty]

Hun, you know how amazing I think you are. I want to jump on Miss_C's post and say she has said everything that I too feel about you. You are amazing, inspiring (yes, you are an inspiration for me on this journey hun), honest and the most caring of mums and friends.

Your post has given me some food for thought. In fact I think it is useful for LTers to hear and share these experiences and it may be something you could consider sharing with the Parenting ALTTTC if you wanted.

Lots of love xx DW