Thanks ladies,i guess its a mixture of things,mainly because i feel alot of older ones feel she should be doing all these things and make me feel bad because she doesnt,maybe i need to not see them so much for a while its starting to really get me down,ive just had another blubber sessions because i was out with an older lady friend i know and she thought my DDs behaviour was unacceptable i admit she was bit bad today but there was a number of reasons why but then basically said to me and all these others we ran into that shes naughty because im so hopeless and dont discipline which isnt true at all!!So over it i will try take your advice and let her do things in her own time and do one thing at a time and not stress,thanks again!