Arghhhhhhhhhh the 4.5yo AGAIN - Cleaning own room

[~clover~]

All I will say right now is..... wait til she's 8!!!

With my 5 year old though, positive reinforcement is the key. Ie - clean up really really fast & you can have a choccy frog
Well its actually a le snack for DD2, coz she doesn't eat chocolate, lol. She doesn't do a perfect job, but she does it.

[~Kim~]

We have a routine. If you play with something, you put it away before you get something else out. Also 2x a day we tidy up, so I go in and help her tidy up.
It also helped when i sorted out her toys into 2 of those plastic drawer units with 5 drawers. Then she just gets one drawer out and when she's finished there's only a finite amount of 'stuff' to put away. More for helping her dad than anyone else, there are pictures on the outside of the drawers as to what goes where, then anyone can be part of the routine. It also helps visitors as well (read those kids who don't have routine and feel the need to drag everything your child owns out).

The backchatting thing is new here, but frustrating none the less. When I have patience I have been trying to do what MD suggested and lightly saying now how would you say that nicley to get your point across. When I am short on patience I either ignore it or let her know how rude I think she's being.

[mrsmac]

I have trouble getting my 10 yr old to clean her room!!!
I find if I break it up its easier for her- like I will say "pick up all the clothes", then chose something else to pick up etc. If you just say clean your room they get overwhelmed and can't do anything. Sometimes I get her to pick up and put away 10 things, then a bit later another 10.

[~Raven~]

Make a game out of it and help her to sort things into groups, then put the groups where they belong. You can make it look like you are doing it together but really you are just supervising and suggesting where things go with a little help if she needs it.

Don't react to the backchatting but if you do keep calm because if she knows it gets your back up she will keep doing it

[BellyBelly]

I wrote this exact same post on my FB page but about my 8 year old daughter!

We've moved in a couple of months, things were all over the place, and her room the messiest place in the house - so things are a bit chaotic and I should have been a bit more understanding - it was probably more about me feeling uncomfortable with her room and someone seeing it in the state that it was, and nothing more. Nothing was working asking her to clean up, but what did work is this. I decided firstly to be kind - with everything going on and even myself looking in her room, I felt overwhelmed and flabbergasted. Imagine how that would feel to an 8 year old who no doubt feels the same.

I scanned the room - she doesnt really have much storage. I bought these cute little shelf/drawers that go on her clothes drawers, I got her a dresser and mirror and a desk and chair, all in white and pink. I put away all the clothes for her but left the toys, and put her clothes basket in an easier to access place. I put a spare iPhone/iPod dock in her room with my old iPhone that she loves to play with and listen to music. When she woke up and saw it (I snuck everything in overnight) she was overwhelmed with happiness. She started assigning items to places, and shock horror - now is playing in her room and spending more time in there and with the iPhone dock, she cranks up the music and gets ready in the morning and does girlie things - its no longer a source of stress but relaxation and fun. I think once it is a place of stress, they just don't want to be there.

Yeah it still has mess - but it's not what it used to be and she enjoys her room more.

I also think 4.5 is a little young to expect them to clean their room, alone. Maybe put some storage in there with names on them, so she knows where everything goes and make it fun.

Something I used to do that they used to love at that age was when I had a pile of washing, I would tell the kids - let's have a treasure hunt - find all your clothes in this big mixed pile from the washing and lets see who has the biggest pile in their room when we're done!