I've tried confiscating the toy that he throws. He doesn't care.

One time when he kicked his sister (after repeatedly trying to push her and throwing toys and screaming) I lost it and smacked his leg as I pushed him away from her. I felt terrible afterwards! One thing I really don't want to do is resort to violence to teach a lesson. How can I teach him it's not ok to hit or kick is sister if I resort to hitting him?! My reaction that day had me in tears.

The time-out punishment obviously stops the situation in the moment, but it seems to be having no long-term deterrent effect and we need to work out some way to curb this behaviour. I don't expect to stop it, but it's driving us crazy and we need for it to at least calm down a little bit.

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Confiscating toys does help for the moment. I had the same problem 2 years back. I tried everything but really nothing worked. One thing that stopped him though it may be hard for you to do. I just ignored him whenever he throws tantrums. For some reason when I ignore he eventually stops.

I know that it works differently for children but I do know how you feel..