I am sure I have started a dozen threads about my DS's (nearly 5) behavior. Here is the latest thing I have no idea what to do about.
He was constantly washing his hands every time someone touched him, then got too lazy to do that so he started licking them (gross!), now if you touch any skin on him he will disappear out of the room and lick his hands and 'wash' wherever he was touched. He also pulls his sleeves down so he doesn't have to touch things and refuses to touch anything that might feel yuck. This has been going on for a few weeks now and I noticed tonight that his hands are red where he has been constantly licking. Why the f*** is he so bloody odd! It isn't normal behavior! He is so frigging hard to parent. He is just the nicest kid sometimes, a really neat boy and then other times.....
It is like he is compelled to do it - if I try to stop him licking he gets very upset and as soon as possible he will do it anyway. He isn't ASD or SPD (recently assessed). It is coinciding with a build up of tantrums again - possibly rising anxiety about starting school in September? He also refuses to wear clothes he says he isn't used to, so will only wear the same two pairs of pants and a few tops. I have been forcing the issue on that one lately and making him wear some things he doesn't want to - do you think the stress of that could be causing the licking thing?
Arrrggghhhh!!!! I don't get enough sleep to deal with this!
What can I do to stop the licking? I have tried telling him that it spreads germs, that it won't clean anything. Even washing his hands in the sink would be preferable to licking!
I think that this might be something you need professional help with. Your GP can refer you to the appropriate specialists and I think that you can claim it on Medicare of they draw up a mental health plan.
Big hugs hun. I agree with Onyx - sounds a lot like OCD (not that I'm a psychologist so could be very wrong). If you get it checked out and it's nothing, you can stop stressing, and if it is something, you can get him help sooner rather than later. xo
As a short term solution (to address the symptom not the cause) would he wear gloves? Shooter's gloves might work - they are fingerless so he wouldn't lose dexterity but the mitten bit would cover his fingers so he doesn't have to touch stuff. Or fleece gloves are very comfy and not scratchy like some wool gloves.
Also could you get him some worry beads or worry dolls?
Arte, ok your question about the handwashing is making sense now. Yes the licking thing is weird, and compulsive behaviours are often related to anxiety. I very much doubt that stress over the clothes issue could escalate the licking. It seems more likely that whatever else he is anxious about (moving house, starting school, germs, whatever) is triggering both lots of behaviours (hence an escalation in compulsive behaviours coinciding with the increase in tantrums again).
If it were me, I would get on the phone to the person who assessed him, and specifically ask about the licking and the clothes fixation and ask for them to see you again specifically about this issue, or refer to you the most appropriate service in your area. If it was just one thing you could discount it as a phase, but the clothes thing has been going on for quite a while now and he seems to be developing new fixations as well. Does SPD mean sensory processing disorder? Does that test specifically for tactile sensitivities? If so and these have been ruled out, then it would seem to point towards anxiety/compulsion, and cognitive behavioural therapy might be the best approach for helping him to manage better.
it sounds as though he has an imbalance of some sort. that means his brain works differently to yours. it is not something u caused by not doing something or rather. and by ggetting him assessed you will give him the gift of life. a life were u understand him and he can get help to live as "normal" as he can and that is totally awesome
Sent from my Galaxy with the barefoot princess covering me in kisses, so please forgive the mistakes
Not too bad, did a bit more reading on OCD and he only seems to have the compulsion, not the obsessive thoughts which is a good thing. It also seems pretty common for kids to have symptoms of it at some point and not go on to develop the full disorder.
It is bloody frustrating though, I don't know if I should be ignoring it or telling him to stop. He won't take anything out of my hand, I have to put it down for him to pick up. When I kiss him goodnight he licks his hand and washes his whole face. Where he licks his hand it is red and sore looking
I don't get it either. He can't say why he does it. Doesn't seem to have any fear of anything, he just does it. It is totally weird. And it is actually getting a bit embarrassing in public.
Arte, do you think he will put some cream on it to help with that? It sounds like he's developed lick eczema - heaps of kids get it around their mouths from licking their lips and from dribble etc, but if he's constantly licking the same spot on his hands, it's only natural he will get it there too. Maybe laying down some ground rules will help with where he does it? Or even get him some gloves to wear in public at least?
Not much chance with the cream, he has never liked having creams on and since I can't touch his hands now... unless I do it while he is asleep?
I tried some gloves today and they worked for a while until he took them off. Might give them another go tomorrow. I don't think ground rules will work, he can't even not do it when I am sitting 2 feet away telling him not to do it!
Arte, I'm really pleased that the lady is coming up to see you about this. Even though it's confronting for you, it will be reassuring to talk to someone about it. I hope you come away with some specific strategies to try and also an offer of ongoing contact if you need it. In the meantime, try not to stress over it. It's just a thing. Plenty of people have strange little soothing behaviours, some of them are more common than others (thing nail-biting, for example) but it's just a small part of an otherwise full and balanced life.
The cream while he is sleeping sounds good.
I think its worth persisting with the gloves, may take weeks for him to get it. Maybe if you worked it in the routine of going out? Shoes jacket gloves.
I hope the lady can help.
Hugs
Sent from my Galaxy with the barefoot princess covering me in kisses, so please forgive the mistakes
Compulsive behavior
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I think that this might be something you need professional help with. Your GP can refer you to the appropriate specialists and I think that you can claim it on Medicare of they draw up a mental health plan.
it sounds as though he has an imbalance of some sort. that means his brain works differently to yours. it is not something u caused by not doing something or rather. and by ggetting him assessed you will give him the gift of life. a life were u understand him and he can get help to live as "normal" as he can and that is totally awesome
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