Funny things kids say & do

OH MY GOODNESS. Here's one that just happened, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I decided to make a rainbow layer cake for DH, and had the first two layers cooling on the kitchen table. Then I went in the bedroom to tidy some stuff up while the next cooked... Ten minutes later I notice Miss A has been rather quiet. Always ominous with a two year old, right? This is what I came into the kitchen to find:

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/07/11/y5umy4a5.jpg

If it wasn't bad enough that she ate a quarter of both cakes, now both she and the floor are covered in blue and red crumbs :rofl: :cry:

lol. pretty sure she is in the right, you left them on the bench =p

I didn't even notice she'd left the room! Turned out for the best anyway, I cut them all down to the same size and we feasted on the remains :lol: If I'd left them the original size, they wouldn't have fit on the plate either. She did me a favour!

DD1 is the deepest sleeper and when she wakes up is always still a bit dazed. The other day she woke in a panic and DP was trying to calm her down asking what was wrong and she blurts out 'I... I... I just forgot to wake up' lol.

Miss 2 and I were having a conversation.

Me: Ok, you promise??
H: Yes. I'm Thomas.

LMAO

Double post

DD snuck into our bed the other night. After just opening her eyes she says " ALL ABOARD CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA" was so random and very funny

I was talking about the new royal baby with the kids and how his grandfather would be the next king, then his father, then he would be the king, when Miss nearly 2 announced "I be the next king!". Good to have goals, but I don't know if she will achieve that one lol.

Sitting on the bus with DS today and he was blowing in my face, so I asked him if I looked like a candle.
His response was to sing at the top of his lungs:
"Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear Candle,
Happy birthday to you!
Hip hip, fank you!
Hip hip, fank you!
Hip hip, fank you!"
and then blow on my head.

:rofl: I just sang along to the Buzzbee theme song and at the end DD said "Wow! Wow Mum!" I asked if she liked my singing and she said "Yes please Mum." Lol at least someone does!

She also regularly sees my pj singlet ride up and show my belly, she points and goes "Ooh! Baby cold!" And pulls it back down for me :)

Today, completely out of the blue, DS1 turns to me and says, "Daddy is my father. You are my mother. You aren't a lady, mummy, you're a big boy, like us! "

I have no idea where that came from, or what to respond... :o

Overheard at the post office this morning.

'Daddy, why are all these people following us?!' *urgent whisper*
'They're not following us sweetheart, they're in the queue'

<3

This morning both DSs were sitting at the table eating breaky and DH and I were in the kitchen making ourselves coffee and I walked past the kids to go to the loungeroom and DS1 yelled 'mum where are you going? Get back in the kitchen!!'

:o

I've never heard DH laugh so hard lol

Double post

DS1 pointed at the "golden arches" sign, and announced, "That is a letter box! That is where bears post their letters!"

DD has been watching WAY too much Peppa Pig and keeps calling DH "Daddy Pig". He is not one happy man, lmao

She'll just be sitting there and go "Hey, Daddy Pig. I wuf you!"

DD has been watching WAY too much Peppa Pig and keeps calling DH "Daddy Pig". He is not one happy man, lmao

She'll just be sitting there and go "Hey, Daddy Pig. I wuf you!"

Got another!!

Tonight DH took the boys up for a shower after dinner while I stayed downstairs and tidied up, once they had finished they all came downstairs and DS1 exclaimed 'mum, daddy washed our hair with pooh!!' :lol:

My mother loves telling everyone this story about me :redface: when I was about 4 and my brother was a few months old she came in to check on me because she smelt something strange. Apparently my brother had pooped and I didn't like the smell but I wanted to keep watching tv instead of getting mum so I just sprayed him with an entire can of air freshener

So I've been suffering (again) with MS the past couple of days, so needing a bit of a boost...

DS: you're...not handsome... (DS and I were talking a few days ago about how boys are usually called handsome and girls beautiful.)
I smile, expecting to be told I'm beautiful, something I desperately need to hear as I don't feel it atm)
DS: You're the opposite of handsome...
Still expecting to be told I'm beautiful....I'm obviously not firing on all cylinders here...
DS : You're bad! You're not pretty at all Mummy.

Why thank you DS...!

I've been suffering (again) with MS the past couple of days, so needing a bit of a boost...

DS: you're...not handsome... (DS and I were talking a few days ago about how boys are usually called handsome and girls beautiful.)
I smile, expecting to be told I'm beautiful, something I desperately need to hear as I don't feel it atm)
DS: You're the opposite of handsome...
Still expecting to be told I'm beautiful....I'm obviously not firing on all cylinders here...
DS : You're bad! You're not pretty at all Mummy.

Why thank you DS...!

JLeigh your little one is all charm! NOT!

My DS1 at kindy: "I don't want to play with that black friend!"
Me: "Ummm.... (looking around to see who heard him!) what do you mean sweetie?"
DS1: "I don't want to play with that boy wearing a black teeshirt mum"

Phew!

DS turned two today and DD (4) has been very excited to celebrate his birthday. He slept in, and DD was waiting for him to wake. Finally I said "I think I can hear the birthday boy!" ... DD: "Can I see him? What do you think he's going to look like?!!!"

She was quite disappointed to discover that he didn't grow three inches and mature over night in spite of her insistence: "but two year olds always look bigger than one year olds!"

Dd2 has a cold at the moment.
Last night she had a night terror and started calling out 'daddy, I want my daddy!'
So dh goes in and sits on her bed, gives her a cuddle and says 'don't worry dd, daddy is here'.
Well all I hear is a massive scream, and dd yelling at dh. "No, not you, I want my real daddy!"
I head in and dd sees me, jumps in my arms and through her tears says " I don't want that daddy, I want my real daddy"
Poor dh

:spit: beans, oh your poor hubby!

:lol: Teni, once we got her back to sleep, I did have some fast talking to do.. Lucky for me she looks like dh :rofl:

At the EKKA (brisbane show) today and were watching the arena shows waiting for fireworks when DS informed me that the music that was playing was "coming from the moon"

Got DFs mate (who is also his boss) over for pizza and a movie tonight.
DS: was standing in the middle of the room, gets down on his hands and knees and says
"This is how the baby comes out!"
Me: Automatically; because we have similar conversations daily- "where does the baby come out?"
DS: "Here.." points to his penis. "The baby comes out here." Takes his pants off to show us EXACTLY where - "the baby comes out of my penis!"

Maybe its one of those 'had to be there moments' but we were in hysterics.

DS: (After drawing with chalk for 40 minutes on the paving outside, loving every second) Mummy, can you help me draw with the chalk because it's such a boring job I have to do?!
Pause for 3 seconds... Mummy, what does boring mean?

TMI warning - this is kinda gross.

Amelia and I were just hanging out in bed watching a movie, when she suddenly turned to me with a small brown object in her hand, then worriedly said "Ew, issa poo!" ...yeah. It was. Then while I was making sure that was the only bit outside of her nappy, she kept telling me "I did a poo!" - yes, yes I know, sweetheart :rofl:

DH was getting frustrated with DD1 (4yrs) trying to get her into bed last night. She was trying to delay and went out to go and find a teddy, DH told her to hurry up and get it and get in bed and she rolls her eyes at him, lets out a big sigh and says 'Oh, you are just making such a fuss!!' and storms off, LOL. Such a funny thing to hear come out of her mouth as it's not a phrase we would use.

Hi everyone,

So I'm sure we've all been in the situation where our child has said something funny or embarrassing (whichever the case may be) where you have either; wondered where they got it from OR wanted to crawl into a small dark place and hide.

My DS just came back from time at his dads, with a book, after me questioning his dad over something DS had said.
Backstory: We were watching foxtel one night and watching something on the 'lifestyleYOU' channel. There is an ad on there (which I complain every time I see it) of half naked men, anyway this ad came on and I say "I don't particularly want to see half naked men while I'm eating my dinner" to which DS replies "I have a rudie nudie book at Daddy's house", you can imagine what went through my head. DF and I looked at each other and tried not to laugh!
So DS's dad brought the book "rudie nudie" over to show me (a children's short listed book that came with Huggies nappy pants!)

He says plenty of other funny or inappropriate things too, I thought it would be fun for us to share them and lighten the mood of parenthood every now and then :-)

Talking about the stairs in our house - with a landing halfway down
DS: Why are there 2 lots of stairs?
Me: So its not as steep.
DS: The ladies fixed it, did they?
Me: Why do you think ladies fixed it? Why not men?
DS: Because its too hard for the mens.

Lol Calluna! DH asked me what I was giggling about so I read your post...poor DH was not in the slightest amused. ;)

Hahahaha! I have no idea where that idea came from either. Funny kid worked it out on his own ;)

We were watching an old episode of Harry's Practice when DS (renowned for his imaginative play) decides he wants to play Dr Harry...off he goes to get his hat and shoes. He comes back and asks, 'Hello. Do you have a pet with a problem?'
Me: 'Why yes. I think it's in here' and head to his bedroom to get a stuffed toy. I hand him a toy dog and say, 'here's my sick pet. Can you help her?'
DS: 'actually, that's not a real pet. It's just a stuffed toy. Where's your real pet?'
Me: 'uh...?'
DS: leans over and picks up an invisible pet....'Here's your pet dog. This (touching the toy) is JUST a pretendy toy.'

We were watching an old episode of Harry's Practice when DS (renowned for his imaginative play) decides he wants to play Dr Harry...off he goes to get his hat and shoes. He comes back and asks, 'Hello. Do you have a pet with a problem?'
Me: 'Why yes. I think it's in here' and head to his bedroom to get a stuffed toy. I hand him a toy dog and say, 'here's my sick pet. Can you help her?'
DS: 'actually, that's not a real pet. It's just a stuffed toy. Where's your real pet?'
Me: 'uh...?'
DS: leans over and picks up an invisible pet....'Here's your pet dog. This (touching the toy) is JUST a pretendy toy.'

Ahahaha!

That's AWESOME!!

DS sometimes pulls me up during imaginative play, because a couple of his toys apparently can't talk, because they're toys ... All the rest can! But there's a couple who apparently can't ...

DD spotted a mole on DH's back and yelled - "Look Mummy. Daddy has little boobie!"