Giving Your Children The Things You Missed Out On As A Child.

[Nicambhar]

The words "I love you".
My older children and I say I love you at the end of each phone call and when they go back to their dad's place.
With little Bella, she says it to us now too. As a child and growing up, their was no affection and definately no "I love you" in our house...

[Tinsel]

The words "I love you". As a child and growing up, their was no affection and definately no "I love you" in our house...

We make sure we say it every day. I don't remember one cuddle or kiss or I love you from my mum growing up which is very sad. I am the oldest of 7 children and she loves babies so older children were just an inconvenience to her. Now that we are all older my sisters are way over the top with their 'love you' that it sounds really fake. Kissing mum these days is forced and I still feel judged. I don't want that for my kids. We grew up with the 'seen and not heard' attitude as well.

I will make sure that we constantly have conversation in our house as we never had that. Something so simple but for some reason didn't happen. Mum's opinion was our opinion and she wasn't very nice to others and has a closed mind about the world. Took me years in my adult life to not judge everyone and be negative. I also want our girls to feel safe to come to me or DH with anything they want to discuss. I don't want them to be scared of me. If they have done something wrong, we will talk about what happened and disciplined rather than smacked with every word of 'don't do that again...'

We didn't have much money growing up either so I never did anything at school or after that cost money. We won't indulge our kids every desire on that front but we will certainly involve them in other activities. They will also learn about money and the world around them.

I sound like I had a terrible upbringing. We had some good holidays and we never went without the basics, it was more the physical/emotional/nurturing/encouragement stuff which I think is so important for a little human growing up.

[LuluHB]

Me! My mum divorced my dad when I was 18 months so she raised me and my older brother entirely by herself. I can't remember wanting for anything of a material nature ever - I have no idea how she did that but damn she was good!! What I really noticed though was that my mum was never on canteen duty, was never at sports carnivals, assemblies etc because she was working full time. I've discussed this with her recently and she admitted to bawling the whole way to work on many mornings because she knew how disappointed I was that she couldn't be at whatever that day.

So, my DH and I made the decision that I would be a SAHM. We also agreed that he would work from home for himself which allows him to also be around and constantly in the girls' lives. Life would be a whole lot easier financially if I went back to work and he worked in a "real job", and there would definitely be more things like holidays, new cars etc but we made a decision that togetherness as a family was the most important thing we could give the kids.

[Gigi]

i had to look twice, when i saw that Lulu had posted today.



what i am giving my child that i didn't have
- a home where she doesn't get bashed

- a home where she doesn't have to listen to parents screaming and bashing each other

- i'm interested in what makes her happy and will support her in whatever way i can manage, to share in her dreams.

- store bought knickers that are the right size (so no elastic digging in)

she would get the co-sleeping if i was in at least a double bed. after months of trying (in a single bed), i have had to admit defeat (or rather, my back is stuffed, so i physically can't do it anymore). She got the co-sleeping for 4 years (until i split from her father).

DD having lots of toys, is not something that worries me. We live in a small place, so if she had more, where would they go? I would rather she have less toys, and actually enjoy the ones she does have. So the only xmas and bday pressies being from me and her dad, that's fine, it's enough.

Clothes wise, she loves sparkly things, so i sew sparkly applique badges onto very basic clothing, jazzes it up for her. She loves trawling thru opshops with me, and i buy up when sales are on (for standard items).