pash, you can have routine without it being a schedule. In my experience, most babies love routines, as long as it is their routine - that is following their lead for when it's eat and sleep time.

I think the two books you have mentioned are very different from each other. The No Cry Sleep Solution is a a fantastic book - there's one for toddlers too. The techniques in there are very different to the Baby Whisperer. I remember a time when I unsuccessfully tried "shh-pat" too. It didn't work and like you, it didn't feel right. Have you tried any of Elizabeth Pantley's suggestions - I think you will find they are far more in line with your philosophies. Pinky McKay is another author I love, love, love. Sleeping like a Baby is awesome, and for down the track, Toddler Tactics is just fantastic.

Best of luck to you hun.