In regards to food we talk about it in terms of what makes us grow big and strong, gives us energy to run, good for our eyes for seeing things etc. My kids eat their fair share of junk food and it isn't associated with weight, but not doing good things for us. We acknowledge that it does taste yummy though.

DD1 especially is starting to talk about looking beautiful in a particular dress, or when her hair is done or something and I always tell her that yes she does, but that while it is a pretty dress or whatever, its her that's beautiful and not what she's wearing. We talk about people coming in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colours but that none of that makes a person beautiful or good - its what that person does and how they behave. Dolls, tv shows etc that show "plastic" people are discussed as being silly cos that's not what really people are like.

This is something that really terrifies me, especially when my DH has three sisters and all of them are nutjobs when it comes to skinny=beautiful. One SIL spent her wedding reception with her head in the toilet because she had eaten literally nothing all week One of my nephews, at 9, is told by his father in front of the entire family that its good he is now doing more swimming because he was starting to look really fat but now his body is good. Two other nephews argue over who is the skinniest like that is the be all and end all. I am overweight, and except for a brief patch when I got a little nuts and ended up at 42kgs, always have been. My DH is a beanpole who can eat what he wants and never gain weight. My DH will frequently tell me how beautiful I am (God love him) and I think that is a huge thing for my daughters to witness and hopefully offsets a little of the extended family influence.

At the moment its easier because my DDs both think their mummy knows absolutely everything and what I say is right. I know that will change as they get older and spend more time with others, and I can only hope that we continue with good communication and they grow up with a sensible, balanced understanding.