You are not silly at all!!! DD1 has just turned 5 and is in 4yo kinder. I think that at 4 most kids generally latch onto one close friend and then tend to branch out more are they get older. It has been interesting watching the group dynamics and I had been quite shocked at some of the things said. We have seen a lot of 'you're not my friend' and exclusion because of clothing/hair or even nothing in particular. After getting over my initial shock as I had hoped it wouldn't happen until a bit older I have tried to use each opportunity to try to rally her own confidence/independence. So we have talked about moving on if people are not being considerate of feelings/playing nicely but also trying to reinforce that she knows she is a good friend and has positive attributes and to try to ignore the words that are being spoken. We have spoken about being the best you can be when she has not been 'the best' and how people are all special and unique when there has been talk of long/blonde hair or blue eyes etc. We have also talked about the importance of being polite and considerate of feelings even if you don't want to play or do something someone else is doing. I try to not place too much emphasis on it and move forward when she seems satisfied - as I would when talking about something at the park/supermarket etc. I have struggled a bit with words sometimes. Good luck!