Michelle - thankyou so much for sharing, not only your situation but your thoughts on the effect on the children. We recently had a funeral for a family member (on my side) and my MIL repeatedly told DH it wasn't acceptable for us to take DS to the funeral. I am so glad we did, because although it was hard for him to see people crying and he wasn't 100% sure about the coffin, he handled the day so well. Your post has reinforced the fact that we did the right thing by taking him.
Michelle, thank you so much for sharing this. You have touched me so much with your honesty and openess. When the time comes (very soon) for me to explain to my children about their Grandma and where she is I now know exactly what to tell them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Michelle - thank you so much for sharing that. I have seen this questioned asked on BB often, and it will be a good reference point to others in the future.
When my best friends' dad suddenly passed away, she was unsure whether or not to take her children. I encouraged her to take them, to say goodbye. She is so thankful for that as she felt it helped her, and the kids.
So again, thank you Michelle.
Thanks so much for sharing Michelle. Your babies are blessed to have such a loving, caring and understanding mother to help them through this. I don't know you personally, but have read a lot of your posts about loosing Greg, I'd really like to thankyou for sharing what must be the most horrendous experience of your life, you've done it with grace, dignity and honesty which is so admirable. I wish you and your family all the best for the future.
Michelle, that was lovely to read and has brought tears to my eyes. I totally agree with you and wish that I had someone like you to deal with death the way you have. I have issues to this day as it was never discussed when I was a child so now I pretend it isn't happening which is distressing to people around me. I don't handle grief at all well. I only hope I can change that with my own children in the way that you have. It's so sad that you have all had to deal with this terrible loss.
You are an strong beautiful person for explaining in such a lovely way to your kids what has happened and also sharing this with BB community as it is a question that is often asked.
Thankyou Michelle for sharing this with us. I have been reading your story from the begining. We are all lucky to have you as a (however small) part of our lives here in BB land. I think you are dealing with truely inconceiveable situation with such grace and strength. Thankyou for giving us insight into your life at the moment. I have learnt alot from you.
Hi Michelle,
I just wanted to say that I think you are so strong and brave, and a wonderful mother. I wish you and your family all the joy in the world for your future.
Last edited by Kel001; May 19th, 2010 at 04:23 PM.
Wow Michelle you have handled things amazingly under the circumstances, i'm sure in years to come your children will be ever so thankful for including them and explaining things.
My mum lost a son (my brother) when i was 4, my brother and i found him but were not allowed to attend the funeral, we were told he is a star in the sky aswell but i guess were not included in the grieving process, as people have passed in our family my father constantly treated us as if we were those little kids and to be honest it upsets me quite a bit, when people were sick he sheltered us even when we did not want to be sheltered.
i SHOULD have been allowed to say goodbye, he was and still is a very loved little boy to me.
Thankyou for sharing the process with your children... your an amazing woman.
Thankyou so much for sharing Michelle . I think that was the most beautiful way to explain to your little one's about the passing of their much loved father, so eloquently put, and in ways they can understand.
We have taken DD to funerals and feel that by being included whether they fully understand or not, is an important part of life.
Take care xxoo
Michelle thank you so much for sharing this with us. I think the way you described "the shell" is a great way for children to understand. DD has been asking about the cemetary quite a bit lately as we pass it going to DS's daycare & I tried so hard to say it nicely that its the place where bodies are buried after a person dies (although I tell her the inside of the person goes to heaven... I can now explain it like the shell is buried... much easier for a child to understand )
Thanks for sharing Michelle. I think the way you explained it and involved them in the whole process was a lovely way to go about the whole situation, as horrible as it is. I'm sure they'll thank you for that in the future when they are old enough to really understand the concept properly. The 'shell' concept is a great way to explain it in a way that a little one can understand. It is important for them to be involved and for people to try and help them understand, it must be so confusing for them to have daddy there one minute, and the next he isn't there at all. As distressing as funerals/death can be it is important for children to be supported to and have someone try and explain it all to them.
It's so awful that such a wonderful man was taken from his equally wonderful family, and like the other posters you have conducted yourself with honour and grace through such a horrendous experience.
Wishing you and your family all the best xxx
wow, what a pillar of strength you are I really feel like this post has helped so many others. in different ways- people who maybe would not have posted, wives who cannot write about the grief or there child's grief etc
Michelle- you're simply amazing- although there will be a hole in your heart- please know that you, possibly without even realizing have taken a step forward... and we are here to listen , love and support.
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