I toatally agree with kids pulling their weight! Thats why I worry about my step children! I was raised to be very independent (but not necessarily intentionally) From the age of 9 I would set my own alarm, get myself breakfast, shower, ready for school, walk myself to school ect because my parents wouldnt get up (even though they didnt work).I washed my own clothes, treated my own hair for nits and if I wanted a friend around I'd have to clean the house myself because it was filthy, so mainly I just wouldnt have friends over. I realise thats an extreme case but my partner on the other hand was always completely babied by his mum and never had to lift a finger, even as a late teenager!
He is a bit of a chauvinist and was brought up to think that its the womans job to maintain the house. Still, he helps out now and then. But its the fact that he calls me 'mean' and 'an evil step mum' if I ask his kids to do ANYTHING. Actually, its mainly when I ask his boy to help out. Now the boy can not do the littlest things without complaining (or crying!) he has the worst attitude and never puts effort into the job at hand, so its never done properly! its so frustrating that my partner cant see how he is hindering his own childs develpoment ( to worried about being his mate). And it makes it really hard for me and the boys mother! Its embarrising at times knowing i play a role in his up bringing! I just wish my partner would see that expecting things from your children is helping them become adults and as parents one of our primary jobs is to prepare them for just that!