"I'm not your friend"

[Floweryfields]

I don't have a child who says that, but I've had a few kids say it to me at work. I usually say something similiar to Nerd- or say something like, well the rest of us are friends aren't we because we are all friends at xyz..... later I might take the child aside and explain how saying things like that hurt people's feelings and it isn't a kind thing to say.

It would really suck if it were my child saying it to me though, so I really sympathise.

[Rouge]

I'm going to go against the grain here.

If my child ever said anything like that to me I'd put it back on them and ask them "What does that mean?" See if they really understand. If they don't it gives you the opportunity to discuss it with them. If they do, ask them if it's been said to them before and ask them how it feels? And also acknowledge their frustration, give them alternatives. For example if they are grumpy because they don't get what they want they can express that. Sometimes its just about being heard. If you were to say "I know you are upset but the reason is xyz." 2 things will happen, they'll understand why and realise it's not a personal attack, and lets face it most kids think it's all about them and if that doesn't work they'll get sick of your voice

She doesn't mean it, and I know you know that but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

[Mother Goose]

my DD is about the same age as your LS and is doing the same. I am also getting a lot of "you hate me!" when I tell her off. I think there is a lot of this sort of stuff (I hate you/you don't like me/I don't want to be your friend) sort of stuff at Kinder. It's driving me nuts.

I also have the same concerns as you re: school. In fact, I thought you were writing about our exact situation and life here!!!!

My tactics at the moment are things like

"that's a shame because I like you"

"That's a shame because I love you"

"No honey, I do love you, I just don't love your behavior"

[LimeSlice]

Thanks MG! Nice to know we aren't alone! lol
And yes, the most painful of all is the "you hate me" or "you don't love me at all now" comments, breaks my heart

[Mother Goose]

something else I'm trying LS is "you don't have to like everyone all the time but you do need to be polite. Telling someone you hate them is not polite. Go to your room until you can decide to be polite". I'm trying to teach her it's ok to have what she feels but I am beginning to worry about some of her behavior. It's very scary - I wasn't expecting some of this stuff for several more years!