Learning an instrument - questions for musicians or parents of kids who are musical

[Snacks]

Ahhh, there are SO many factors to consider! And probably it's like anything else to do with learning - that each kid will be different.

I studied music at a university level... and have done nothing with it. But the value is unspeakable. I play (and very occasionally write) music these days just to escape but not to perform.
I started piano at age 8 and loved it. I will ask my kids when they are about that age if they would like to have music lessons.
The biggest factor for me is that I loved my teacher. In the high school years when I could've dropped it for more "fun" things, my teacher adapted to my lifestyle and it was for her that I continued. My parents were always supportive but not pushy. However when I was given a "practice sheet" to ensure I practiced every day, my mum made me practice the minimal amount so she could sign it off, even if it was just running through scales.
I think piano is a good instrument to learn on as it introduces you to both clefs and that's a good start. It makes learning anything else later that little bit easier. E.g. I learned flute for a while in high school and found it not too difficult to pick up.

But I think it needs to be something your kids enjoy for it to have any value at all. The discipline is secondary in my opinion. The love/passion/interest needs to come first.
My kids both love listening to music and for starters I am trying to make a conscious effort to foster that. Natalie has started to become interested in what instruments are playing at a particular time. Regardless of the genre we are listening to, occasionally I try to break it down with her, ask her what she can hear, ask her to describe the sounds and if she is up for it I will tell her what's going on.
Above all, I try to make music fun. My parents' enjoyment of music was contagious. My whole family sing and I love the fact that my husband loves to sing too and we often sing to each other We are a bit crazy sometimes. I think my girls have a good ear so I really hope they have a love for it that I can encourage.

Sorry for the ramble - you're not the only one considering this sort of thing! I hope you can inspire your kids in a way that differs from the pressure you felt as a kid. xx

ETA: Just re-reading your post and I am sad for the littler you who was forced into such an uncomfortable place It makes me very sad to think that you might not be able to play and enjoy your abilities without guilt or feelings harking back to being bullied as a kid. I hope there's a special kind of freedom in the way you will encourage your kids in their interests and abilities. I can't imagine you being a bully in any way, regardless of what decisions you make re their learning.