my DD is too much of a handful. .. is it my parenting or her ???

[Yeddi]

Wow thats a full on little girl you have there! Hats off to you having to put up with that day in day out.

You know what I think if I was you I would go & discuss with your pead about her behaviour. She may have some sort of sensory issue or a spectrum disorder that would explain a lot of her behaviours.

^Yeah, that^

Sounds as though she is sensory seeking and could have a PPD.

Custard on picture = tactile sensory seeking
dinner HAS to be COLD .... not HOT = sensory avoidance
she tips flour everywhere = tactile sensory seeking
break things = tactile and auditory sensory seeking
squeezing out the toothpaste and rubbing it in to the floor = tactile sensory seeking
tipping her milk into the cup holders of our lounge = tactile sensory seeking
refuses to have a blanket on = sensory avoidance
most days will not wear any clothes at all = sensory avoidance...

Doing one or two of these things is fairly normal, but not all of them, there's a bit of a pattern going on there!

Time outs, smacking, removing toys etc. will not work, because this isn't about a lack of discipline. This is about a sensory drug addict looking for their next fix and not being able to handle certain stimuli. Trust me, I know, my DD is sensory seeking too. The only way to deal with this behaviour is to manage it by steering it towards more appropriate avenues, because asking them not to seek or avoid certain textures is akin to asking them not to breathe - they can't not do it. It might be worth seeing an OT and getting a sensory profile done, so you know where you need to provide a sensory fix and what textures you need to be light handed with.

[Shanti]

Do you have a big yard where she can run around?? Burn energy that way? Some toddlers just have ALOT of energy and need to burn it off. Does she go to playgroup?

[sconeonamission]

we visited our grandmother (mum's mum) the other day and she screamed and carried on coz she wanted to play with the water running in the patients bathroom basin... Just to add another thing she does... Oh! And she must take her shoes off when using the toilet...

I have no idea how you do it at all! She's too much for me!

[*charmalea*]

id forgotten about the water thing ren ...... she does just stand at the sink all day and let the water run over her hands .... and she must take her shoes , undies and pants and if we are at home, her top off to pee too !!

Yeddi ... WOW you really opened my eyes .... reading your post reminded me about the other day when i was talking to my neighbour gabbi had pulled something from her laundry and was running around rubbing it all over her ... we were making a joke of it and i said , " shes such a tactile kid , likes different textures "

i was beginning to think she may have ADHD , but this really opened my mind yeddi . she has alot of food issues , and after a endoscopy has been given the all clear to eat all foods , she has IBS ( toddlers diarreah, or in other words " no idea whats wrong with your DD , so we'll call it IBS ) and suffers fuctose intolerance etc , so when she was little her Pead , warned me she may be irratable and agitated , as babies with her kids of problems tend to be . she has a history of reflux , also has sleep apnea and will be getting tonsils and adenoids out in april ....

i dont know if these are related to the sensory issues . but it might be

i called my pead the other day to get an appt . but they said hes too busy and just to email him :0 i will so some reasearch on this ... as its just dawned on me that DD may have a problem ........ and its just a bit much right now ...

[nothing2lose]

You poor thing!

I don't know much about sensory disorders but DD has ADHD and I know there is a link between IBS and ADHD (and other disorders on the spectrum).

Definitely take her to a paediatric specialist.

Good luck!!

n2l

[*Efjay*]

Now the light bulb has come on, do lots of reading & ask lots of questions & things will get easier

[Yeddi]

Charmelea I know it's a lot to take in, but now you can empower yourself to find tools. Tools help... a LOT, both practically and emotionally because they give you hope.

One of the biggest things we found was the GAPS diet. Honestly, it's a big undertaking and at first it was just too much hassle, but then I got desperate and gave it a go. I didn't follow it exactly, I allowed seeds like millet etc. (I just soaked them overnight to remove the bulk of the starch) because otherwise it can lack in B-vitamins and had A2 milk but it made a HUGE difference to our child and the whole family. There is a lot of antidotal evidence to suggest that spectrum disorders are a microscopic yeast infection of the brain. Yeast overgrowth is also connected with reflux and IBS. Gluten and casein can make these kids even more nutso because the peptides have a similar make up to morphine and heroin. These peptides are meant to be excreted out but because the yeast rips tiny holes in the stomach lining they get through into the blood stream. And don't even get me started on how most vaccines are made on mutated yeast. My daughter's original diagnosis was Autism, now it's PPD-NOS and they are considering removing her off the spectrum altogether at the next review. I don't think she's quite there yet, maybe the 2012 review would be more accurate time to remove her, as we had some regression when DS came along as he is very unpredictable (i.e. he cries sometimes and because she can't see a trigger it freaks her out). Anyway, I'm a convert to the diet and have seen amazing things from it. I didn't start her until 5 but the earlier you start the better. I followed the GAPS diet throughout my pregnancy with DS and now live by its general rules while breastfeeding and the health difference between my two children is phenomenal. DS has never been sick despite the rest of the family catching whooping cough when he was 2 months old and he's not vaccinated (he did get a slightly runny nose but I shot boob juice up there and it went away), never had colic, no reflux, no cradle cap, no milk spots, never had a rash on his bottom, he wouldn't cry more than 40 minutes in total in a 24 hour period and it's actually more complaining (sounds like baby swearing) than crying. By the time DD was three months old, she'd had oral thrush 3 times, 2 temperatures, reflux, she had crusty cradle cap on her head most of the time, and we were dealing with either constipated and poosunamis - no in betweens! The difference between them is insane. So its definitely worth a look at when you're up to it.

A visual schedule can help your DD too. Talking often goes in one ear and out the other, but the visual schedule gives them optical sensory stimulation and can cut through. You can find pictures on google images for most things and just print them off and laminate. The kids can also pull the picture off afterwards if you put velcro on the back which again is tactile. Singing instructions also makes a big difference as it uses a different part of the brain. You'll need rewards for good behaviour that are tactile, one of DD's favs is playing with homemade cornflour goo in a bucket out in the backyard. She would get this if she could do some quiet time for 15 minutes.