As A Parent, What I'm Really Saying When I Say .........................

[Jewel]

One of you sit on the lounge, the other on the armchair = Sit on top of each other either on the armchair/lounge and kick, push, whinge, fight about not having any space and that you can't see the tv very well.

Leave the cat alone = Pick her up and chase her around so she meows constantly and doesn't like you. (He's so lucky she doesn't scratch or even bite him to let her go. She just puts up with it. )

[~*familyof3*~]

DS2 eat your vegies you cant have the meat untill you eat them = Please dont eat your vegies when im not looking please shove them under the rug and leave them there untill i find them 3 days later

[crumpet]

DD please dont climb on the dog what i mean is D please climb on the dog and jump up and down until the dog has had enough and walks away

DD can u please go and sit on ur chair ready for breaky/lunch/dinner what i really mean is: DD please run around like a looney throwing bibs every where and then sit on the floor NEXT to your chair

Dont touch mummys dinner what i mean is: please help yourself to mummys dinner

dont touch the washing please pull all the washing that ive just hung up on the clothes horse off and throw it on the floor

[MrsBexie]

Charlotte NO = Charlotte you can touch that and while your at it, please pull it over and smash glass everywhere

Please Don't touch that = please feel free to grab those picture frames/glasses/laptop/anything other than your toys and hit them/throw them/bend them/break them etc

Lay down sweetheart = please use our faces as your ladder, jab your knee into my nose, launch yourself and body slam daddy's face, put your tiny little palms RIGHT in the middle of my boob and press as hard as you can, use your elbows and knees to dig into our bodies so you can get around the bed.

^^ those work for pretty much every situation because DD is only 13.5mths old lol..
Great thread. We should start a hubby one!!


Sent from my iPhone so sorry for the spelling and punctuation!!

[janzward]

Do not touch the powercord on the vac = keep pulling on the powercord until mums head spins around 3 times and explodes

Ha! This one is classic not just powercord on vac but all powercords!

[Cassius2]

"Dont drag your sister across the floor" = "Grab extra tight and drag her even faster!"

"Dont stick that knife in the powerpoint!" = "Stick a fork in it instead!"

[Cocolove]

It doesn't matter what I say, what she thinks I am saying is... "Okay, sure, but what you don't realise is I am nine so I know everything. So thank you for your direction and advice but actually, I'm going to do it my way, in my own time because, while I love you, really I know everything there is to know so you are pretty annoying..."

Bahahahah OMG I relate to this! My 9yr old is the same & would have no trouble saying this to me in those almost exact words

[Stevie]

When DD makes a mess Dont move, stand still apparently means: run around and touch everything you can possibly get your hands on..

Put your dirty clothes IN the basket apparently means: everywhere BUT the basket including RIGHT NEXT TO THE DAMN THING ON THE FLOOR.. have a guess which lazy PIA im refering to

oh, and

Dont let her have anything to eat/or go to sleep.. dinner is nearly ready apparently means: let her go and get whatever she wants OR give her great big comfy snuggles that send her off to sleep RIGHT before i bring dinner out.. thanks!

[~*familyof3*~]

Put your dirty clothes IN the basket apparently means: everywhere BUT the basket including RIGHT NEXT TO THE DAMN THING ON THE FLOOR.. have a guess which lazy PIA im refering to

Bahahaha DS1 Does this it drives me crazy