When DD makes a mess Dont move, stand still apparently means: run around and touch everything you can possibly get your hands on..

Put your dirty clothes IN the basket apparently means: everywhere BUT the basket including RIGHT NEXT TO THE DAMN THING ON THE FLOOR.. have a guess which lazy PIA im refering to

oh, and

Dont let her have anything to eat/or go to sleep.. dinner is nearly ready apparently means: let her go and get whatever she wants OR give her great big comfy snuggles that send her off to sleep RIGHT before i bring dinner out.. thanks!