As A Parent, What I'm Really Saying When I Say .........................

[peanutter]

"DS, please come back" means "please pretend to be deaf or too young to understand, and go wherever you'd like until I catch up to you."

"DS, have you done a wee/poo?" means "please say either yes, no, or banana - and pretty please ensure that your response has no correlation whatsoever to the state of your nappy."

[Astrid]

Here it is quite simple. What ever I say, they just make up the opposite. DD2 literally does that.

I say "NO" and she wanders to the other room stating "Mum said YES"

[Nai]

When I say " no" it really means say " please please please" over and over again in your most annoying whingy voice.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Please stop pushing your sister. Let her jump in her jolly jumper while I cut up the vegies for tea. = Swing her as hard and high as a can so she goes airborn straight into the door frame requiring a trip to the hospital.

[Calluna]

Please stop pushing your sister. Let her jump in her jolly jumper while I cut up the vegies for tea. = Swing her as hard and high as a can so she goes airborn straight into the door frame requiring a trip to the hospital.

Omg! Hope she's ok!

"Isaac, can you stop and listen please?" Means "ignore me, I have nothing important to say"
"please don't climb the stairs, it's dangerous" Means "quick, climb the stairs! It's fun!"
"time for dinner, come sit at the table please" means "run away"
"time to change your nappy" means "run away"
"can you put your shoes on please?" Means "run away"

actually, most things mean "run away"...

[sahbear]

Please stop pushing your sister. Let her jump in her jolly jumper while I cut up the vegies for tea. = Swing her as hard and high as a can so she goes airborn straight into the door frame requiring a trip to the hospital.

Oh no!

Big hugs.

[TeniBear]

When I say " no" it really means say " please please please" over and over again in your most annoying whingy voice.

I still do that to my mum

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

DD2 Please stop screaming at the top of your lungs = no really, please, lets see how loud you can go cause my ears are invincible after all




Sent using my SamGal

[xXHopeXx]

Mummy is just going to the toilet, i'll be back in just a minute, k? I am really packing my bags and moving to China so please cry and scream hysterically

lol!! That sounds about right!!




Sent from the land of "iSomethings" so forgive me for any spelking misstaks

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Can you please leave your clothes on = rip off all of your clothes and run outside on the patio

Lets get ready for swimming = hide upstairs & giggle until mummy is so angry she threatens with NO SWIMMING.

[xXHopeXx]

Lie down and go to sleep = get back up and start playing with your bed until your overtired and end up screaming until you sleep, no matter what I do.

Let's have some dinner/lunch/breakfast = whinge and whinge because you're hungry, but refuse anything I give you to eat.

Stop doing that/Stop touching that = keep touching that until mummy gets cranky and comes to get it off you, then just before I get there, leave it alone and have a whinge.

Dont stand up in the bath = stand up in the bath and walk around!!

Don't play with that = play with that




Sent from the land of "iSomethings" so forgive me for any spelking misstaks

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Ohhhhhh xXHopeXx you reminded me.

Don't walk/run around in the shower, you want to be big girls fine but have a shower properly = run around, open and shut the door, jump, slip and smack your back on the door frame

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Yeah shes ok... She started to pass out abit about 30 seconds after it happened and ended up with a big lump/bruise on her forehead and a concussion. UGH.


Come inside now, I am going to dish up dinner. = Scream so the neighbours think Im murdering you.

Eat your breakfast please = Throw it in the bin and go help yourself to a chocolate biscuit.

[Jewel]

One of you sit on the lounge, the other on the armchair = Sit on top of each other either on the armchair/lounge and kick, push, whinge, fight about not having any space and that you can't see the tv very well.

Leave the cat alone = Pick her up and chase her around so she meows constantly and doesn't like you. (He's so lucky she doesn't scratch or even bite him to let her go. She just puts up with it. )

[~*familyof3*~]

DS2 eat your vegies you cant have the meat untill you eat them = Please dont eat your vegies when im not looking please shove them under the rug and leave them there untill i find them 3 days later

[MrsBexie]

Charlotte NO = Charlotte you can touch that and while your at it, please pull it over and smash glass everywhere

Please Don't touch that = please feel free to grab those picture frames/glasses/laptop/anything other than your toys and hit them/throw them/bend them/break them etc

Lay down sweetheart = please use our faces as your ladder, jab your knee into my nose, launch yourself and body slam daddy's face, put your tiny little palms RIGHT in the middle of my boob and press as hard as you can, use your elbows and knees to dig into our bodies so you can get around the bed.

^^ those work for pretty much every situation because DD is only 13.5mths old lol..
Great thread. We should start a hubby one!!


Sent from my iPhone so sorry for the spelling and punctuation!!

[janzward]

Do not touch the powercord on the vac = keep pulling on the powercord until mums head spins around 3 times and explodes

Ha! This one is classic not just powercord on vac but all powercords!

[Cassius2]

"Dont drag your sister across the floor" = "Grab extra tight and drag her even faster!"

"Dont stick that knife in the powerpoint!" = "Stick a fork in it instead!"