Raising Girls

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

2 girls 15mths apart.

4yr old miss know it all, attitude of an 18yr old who CAN be the most sensitive child on earth.

2.5yr old going through the i will sook at anything and anyone stage

I'm in.

[hj1981]

[QUOTE=Heaven;3219810]
When I have difficult times with them and I'm getting really frustrated I have realised that it's usually me I'm trying to rush them, or I'm not paying enough attention, I'm busy cleaning the kitchen or something, I'm not listening to what they're really saying. So I'm trying to work on that. Just slowing down and letting them experience life without rushing them through it because I've got stuff that needs to be done. Really, it can wait! I will only get this time once. If they want to help with the washing it might take twice as long but they are learning and having fun so I just need to chill, lol. QUOTE]

Heaven that is me to a "T", i am trying that approach now. I do get frustrated easily because i am in such a hurry to get things done, so i can move onto the next thing, and half the time DD1 and DD2 are at my ankles wanting to help. I guess i got to learn to take it slower and let them help, soon enough they won't be wanting to help me with the washing or folding LOL. I hope now that uni is almost over i will have more patience too


I am so in on this thread too, not that i have any advice to give just yet

DD1 - is 4 in a few days, she is our princess, high maintenance, and stubborn. She is getting a slight attitude lately, and cries at the drop of a hat!
DD2 - is 2 in a month, she is our "sporty" one, easy going, so funny, yet also stubborn.

I think my biggest problem is going to be with DH and the girls when they are older, as it is now when DD1 is cranky with DH she will turn around and say "I'm not your best friend anymore" to which DH will respond "Well i am not your best friend either" which really does not help the situation

[~clover~]

DD3 likes to help too. By throwing everything on the floor as I fold it. Or splashing the washing water everywhere.

Each one of my girls is a handful in their own ways. Honestly don't know which is more enjoyable. DD1's pre teen attitude, DD2's over the top winging & whining, or DD3's cheeky tornado side! Poor DS

[MummyNaomi]

I'm in, pretty early days here as DD is only 3 months but I will be very interested to watch and observe for now

My Mum had myself and 2 boys, she said the boys were far easier to raise - I was A LOT more emotional than the boys hehehehehe

[fionas]

I'm in too.

My girls are very different. DD1 is very outgoing, very active and a complete tomboy. She climbs trees taller than the house and we've decided we need to harness her talent and take her to a rock climbing wall. She couldn't really give two hoots about what she looks like and used to describe things as being "nice and dirty". She talks all the time and getting out the door is a constant battle as she's oh, so easily distracted. I took her shoe shopping the other day and after trying one pair on she got bored and started doing headstands. Which SHOULD all mean that she'll cope very well with life. BUT, I've seen smatterings of girls being *****y to her and I'm not sure how she'll go with that. I got a bit tearful when I saw it one day and it wasn't even that bad. Hopefully, she'll hold her head up high and not buy into it.

DD2, on the other hand, is much quieter, wouldn't say boo to a goose, would cuddle for hours if you let her and thinks about things far too much.

We joke that DD1 will own a wrecking yard and be in the pub by 2pm each day and DD2 will go through the rubble for valuables, plot them in a database and constantly try to drag DD1 out of the pub for drinking all the profits.

So far, I've been trying to make sure I make a concerted effort to spend one-on-one time with DD1. We have regular special movie nights and I've taken her for a couple of weekends away, just the two of us. I also find that bedtime is a good time to have chats about her behaviour. She's pretty good these days but used to throw a huge amount of tanties.

Both girls spend a lot of time with DP. In DD1's case, this can be a double-edged sword. He's from a family of four boys where riling each other up was normal. I try to tell him to stop doing that with DD1, I think it's slowly started sinking in. They're just very, very similar and they sometimes rub each other up the wrong way.

DD2 is much more like me so I'm more confident I'll be able to guide her along life's great journey

[Chrispe]

My DD is 6 going on 16..... She thinks she runs the place, so we often clash! But then she is surrounded by boys (1 older, 2 younger)
So I'm definitely watching this thread.

Have thought about buying the book, well both the 'Raising Girls' and 'Raising Boys' books actually.

[Rowellen]

When I have difficult times with them and I'm getting really frustrated I have realised that it's usually me I'm trying to rush them, or I'm not paying enough attention, I'm busy cleaning the kitchen or something, I'm not listening to what they're really saying. So I'm trying to work on that. Just slowing down and letting them experience life without rushing them through it because I've got stuff that needs to be done. Really, it can wait! I will only get this time once. If they want to help with the washing it might take twice as long but they are learning and having fun so I just need to chill, lol.

So I don't really have any useful advice yet because mine are only little but looking forward to what everyone else has to say!

This is me too. I have this problem even with my boy. It is so frustrating when you are trying to get things ready to go out for something fun and they won't co-operate. I try as much as I can to get things ready the night before but sometimes by the time the kids are in bed, I just want to crash myself

DD is a struggle at the moment as she has very definate ideas of what she wants but as she's only 18mo, she can't express it well. And she doesn't take it well when I say no. Then when I say yes, she changes her mind . Pretty typical toddler behaviour I think but it drives me batty.

[veus]

I'm in too, but only have a little queen (13mo) in the house. Her personality is showing. Very strong willed and opinionated. Can see an interesting road ahead.

[k4t]

I'm in. I've only got the one little girl just going on three months so I'm hoping to learn a lot about what I can look forward to (or not :P) in the future.

I was an only girl growing up. I think I was a pretty easy child overall but I'm sure I definitely had my unbearable phases

[TaRhLi.]

I'm in as well...

Miss just turned 3 (but going on 13) is full of attitude, back chat, foot stamping, door slaming and has an answer for everything...

I think raising her brothers will be easier as boys are more about physicality but girls are more about mental torment, even now at Playgroup the interaction between the girls is so 'clicky' it is unbelievable to see how they play together...

[Mrs P]

I'm in too! DD is 2.25 years and I'm currently nearly 22 weeks pg - Sara and I are Belly Buddies
She is very strong willed and becoming quite the negotiator. She can also be quite sensitive at times. I am trying to work on my shortened patience (being pg doesn't help with this!!) and letting her have some independence. Phew it's a challenge!!!

[~Kim~]

yay. A couple of threads that couldn't have come at a better time for me. Great idea Sara.

I have 2 ends of a spectrum.
Miss 6.5....I have been totally re-evaluating my parenting lately. She is a precious, caring, imaginative, strong, fit, exceptionally bright little girl. Outwardly she doesn't give two hoots about what anyone thinks, but inwardly she's a ball of anxiety and self-consciousness. She's also the angriest kid at times I have ever seen.
Last week her teacher (whom she loves) asked me if she had been different at home. She's been on the 'blue spot' twice in the week. Never before had she given anyone any grief. She's full of 'no', bullying and yelling. Ready to cry some days.

Miss 8.5months. She is a chilled out, happy little poppet who thinks the sun shines from her brother and sister. It would appear she's going to be a 'take no prisoners' kind of kid. I guess being number 3 teaches you that. She lets them know when she's not pleased with them....usually a roar, followed by a big grin lol.

Heaven I think I'm going to print out your post and put it on my mirror. It said exactly what I need to remember.

Body image is another one I worry about. I've tried really hard not to let them hear me whinging about dieting or losing weight. I take them to the gym regularly with me to let them see other mummies doing the same thing, I have them involved in sports we play outside and physically with them and provide wholesome, healthy food. I want them to know about great body image. DD1 is so so tall. She's already formed perception of body in her mind I think.

Right now I'm working on positives. Working on our relationship. Working on her seeing how great she is.
She's so independent and I need to remember that she's still just a little girl.

Interesting the bit about dad's and their daughters. My dad was awesome. He made me believe I could do anything I wanted. I believe that too.

[nothing2lose]

Regarding body image, I am finding some of the girls at DD's school are having a very negative influence. She weighs around 30kgs and is around 150cm and she has been called "fat" by bullies

It seems it is a throw away line designed to hurt.

She has not one ounce of fat on her. It makes me sooooooo angry.

[LuluHB]

That's so scary at your DD's age N2L. The poor love. Is she ok with it or does it really get to her? I know I'm old and times have changed, but we never used to take any notice of girls' sizes at her age and a whole heap older.

[nothing2lose]

It gets to her

I have spent her whole life trying to build a positive body image, but comments from peers can undo your good work very quickly.

[LuluHB]

Poor baby. I think this issue and sex are by far my single biggest worries when it comes to having girls.

[Chrispe]

I agree lulu

[~clover~]

Its not only that N2L. The other kids body images don't help. Having other kids who've heard their mums/friends go on about weight isn't helpful & hard to avoid. Or the friend that comments on another kid being 'fat' & then kids start to worry about getting fat.

DD1 is always calling DD2 fat. She's not. She's just as skinny as DD1 but she has a different shape. It drives me nuts They are both confident in themselves for now. But DD2 is very sensitive & over thinks alot. I worry about her. DD1 is quite happy within herself & her body. And considering the number of people who used to stop us in public to tell us how gorgeous she was, I'm sure it'll last a life time

I do not call myself fat. I'm not & even though I'm not happy with my body I'll never use those words around them. When I go for walks, or do some exercise, I don't say anything about losing weight, its about being healthy. They have very happy, self confident women all around them who are all shapes & sizes. So I think thats a good influence.

I hope they can see what I've done & am doing for them & appreciate it. I know they don't really understand yet, but hopefully one day they will & they'll do the same if they ever need too.