I've had a challenging weekend with my Daughters. Its involved lots of tantrrums, tears, back-chatting, mischeviouness, attitutude and at time just down right naughtiness.
Needless to say, I was brought to tears of frustration a few times.
So this morning I've pulled out my copy of "Raising Girls" to see if there is any useful information in there to help me try to understand the phase my girls are going through at the moment. I honestly dont find the book that helpful, especially in understanding DD1. However, there were a few points which I read that got me thinking... such as...
* What more their father could do to maybe influence their behaviour.
* That maybe I'm not spending enough one on one time with DD1 (and DD2 aswell obviously however she is much more independent and less "needy" and emotional)
* Would a girl on school help?
I thought I'd create this thread for us to chat about what things we do to help raise our Daughters and just a general chat thread about raising girls.
I have 1 daughter =) that I can tell is already a strong willed little thing =). but it is still early days for me yet, but would love to know what I'm up against in the future
N2L - I brought the book a few years ago. At the time, I again didn't feel that it did much to help me. What I did pull from it was how important Father/Daughter relationships are. As a Mother/Woman who grew up never knowing her birth father and having quite nasty step-father, I always knew how important a positive Father role plays in a girls/womans life. I am truely dreading the prepubescent stages as DD1 is already a highly emotional child. Add hormones to the mix and its going to be a roller coaster ride for everyone.
DP is a great Dad really. He has his moments, as do I, and he's had the opportunity to really form a good relationship with our girls while I studied full time and he stayed home with the girls.
I think DD1's issues go further than that and today I have re-visited the idea of taking her to see a child psychologist. I'd be interested to hear other perspectives on this.
DD1 is having issues at school with her learning and development as well as her behaviour. Her school only has 17 kids in it and they are all in the same class. B is the only child in the school who has the issues that she does and I have often thought that because of this, her issues are highlighted which I believe had added to her already anxious personality.
She has recently started re-wetting the bed. I think she must have went around 6 months without wetting the bed then a few months ago started wetting the bed and wetting herself where she sat - be it on the lounge, the bed or on the floor. This to me is alarming behaviour but I can't really pinpoint what would trigger it other than the issues at school.
So far things have been smooth sailing with both my girls. They are very different in so many ways but they manage to make that work for them.
When I decided to start working in childcare this year I thought I would be more comfortable with working with girls because it is what I know. Buy was I shocked to find out just how wrong I was. Seeing 2-5 year old girls interacting scared me a bit, how mean, rude, spiteful and unpleasent they can be, not only to their friends but to others and adults. I figured it out quickly that boys will hit and say silly words like PooPoohead to each other but girls will say mean things to each other.
This made me become very consious of the way I talked to my DD's and how I let them talk to each other.
DD1 is going through a cry for everything stage. She does not throw tantrums though. I at first would say don't be a cry baby and quickly stopped because I was bullying my own child Now I tell her that she needs to calm down, stop crying and talk to me properly, 95% of the time it works.
My DD is 6 going on 16..... She thinks she runs the place, so we often clash! But then she is surrounded by boys (1 older, 2 younger)
So I'm definitely watching this thread.
Have thought about buying the book, well both the 'Raising Girls' and 'Raising Boys' books actually.
I'm in too, but only have a little queen (13mo) in the house. Her personality is showing. Very strong willed and opinionated. Can see an interesting road ahead.
I'm in. I've only got the one little girl just going on three months so I'm hoping to learn a lot about what I can look forward to (or not :P) in the future.
I was an only girl growing up. I think I was a pretty easy child overall but I'm sure I definitely had my unbearable phases
Miss just turned 3 (but going on 13) is full of attitude, back chat, foot stamping, door slaming and has an answer for everything...
I think raising her brothers will be easier as boys are more about physicality but girls are more about mental torment, even now at Playgroup the interaction between the girls is so 'clicky' it is unbelievable to see how they play together...
I'm in too! DD is 2.25 years and I'm currently nearly 22 weeks pg - Sara and I are Belly Buddies
She is very strong willed and becoming quite the negotiator. She can also be quite sensitive at times. I am trying to work on my shortened patience (being pg doesn't help with this!!) and letting her have some independence. Phew it's a challenge!!!
yay. A couple of threads that couldn't have come at a better time for me. Great idea Sara.
I have 2 ends of a spectrum.
Miss 6.5....I have been totally re-evaluating my parenting lately. She is a precious, caring, imaginative, strong, fit, exceptionally bright little girl. Outwardly she doesn't give two hoots about what anyone thinks, but inwardly she's a ball of anxiety and self-consciousness. She's also the angriest kid at times I have ever seen.
Last week her teacher (whom she loves) asked me if she had been different at home. She's been on the 'blue spot' twice in the week. Never before had she given anyone any grief. She's full of 'no', bullying and yelling. Ready to cry some days.
Miss 8.5months. She is a chilled out, happy little poppet who thinks the sun shines from her brother and sister. It would appear she's going to be a 'take no prisoners' kind of kid. I guess being number 3 teaches you that. She lets them know when she's not pleased with them....usually a roar, followed by a big grin lol.
Heaven I think I'm going to print out your post and put it on my mirror. It said exactly what I need to remember.
Body image is another one I worry about. I've tried really hard not to let them hear me whinging about dieting or losing weight. I take them to the gym regularly with me to let them see other mummies doing the same thing, I have them involved in sports we play outside and physically with them and provide wholesome, healthy food. I want them to know about great body image. DD1 is so so tall. She's already formed perception of body in her mind I think.
Right now I'm working on positives. Working on our relationship. Working on her seeing how great she is.
She's so independent and I need to remember that she's still just a little girl.
Interesting the bit about dad's and their daughters. My dad was awesome. He made me believe I could do anything I wanted. I believe that too.
Regarding body image, I am finding some of the girls at DD's school are having a very negative influence. She weighs around 30kgs and is around 150cm and she has been called "fat" by bullies
It seems it is a throw away line designed to hurt.
She has not one ounce of fat on her. It makes me sooooooo angry.
That's so scary at your DD's age N2L. The poor love. Is she ok with it or does it really get to her? I know I'm old and times have changed, but we never used to take any notice of girls' sizes at her age and a whole heap older.
Raising Girls
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Now I tell her that she needs to calm down, stop crying and talk to me properly, 95% of the time it works.
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