trust your instincts, you don't sound like you think screaming back in her face is a good idea, listen to your instinct.

screaming back at her, i suspect, will escalate the situation.

she needs you to be in control, not out of control like she is. I love the OP suggestion of whispering in her ear. i think if you speak calmly, that will calm her down.

it must be very distressing for you to hear, and for her to do (screaming makes a person hot and headachy).

when my child has a meltdown, and i can't get her to talk to me, i end up trying to ignore the noisy stuff, and concentrate on her physical needs (cold flannel on her head, softly singing to her, letting her know (softly) that tissues and water are right by her side, working up to caressing her hair, when she's a bit calmer. SHe usually is so worked up, that she won't let me see her face, but wants to have some part of her, touching me, so if i go to move away, she gets cross. So inspite of being cross (about what i don't know), she wants me for comfort.

i have no idea how i'd cope with this, if i had more than one child. My experience has only been with one child.