Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I agree, there are sooooo many other amazing things we can do for them - yeah, loving them is the main one and there are no worries about that for our DD!!

What has stuck in my mind most is - my "friend" is a teacher and she said she can spot an only or middle child after a week of being with them. So she had 4 kids so that none of them had the middle child syndrome How ridiculous. (well, sounds ridiculous to me anyway).