Sleep advice for 2 y.o in a big bed

[Tiff+2]

I really don't had a lot of advise to give I'm sorry. I was only going to suggest a teddy bear or something of the sort to cuddle to sleep and who will stay with him through the night.

Also waking through the night, DD went through this (it only stopped about a week ago) and it was suggested to me that she may need to go to the toilet, but not really know it... I'm not sure if you're TT yet, but I just asked DD if she wanted to sit on the potty for a min, then I'd put her back to bed. Something to think about anyways.

One other thing DD is wanting now is her lamp on when she goes to sleep. It is a red lava lamp, so not very bright, once isn't on she doesn't have a prob drifting off.

I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, each chid is different, but thats whats working for us. I hope you get it all sorted out really soon.
GL with bubby too

[didispunk]

I would try putting a gate at his door so he cant get out, and then he will know that he cant get out to your bed as well as waking at night..

Worst thing that can happen is him falling asleep on the floor near the gate when he gets exausted... but then just put him into bed when you go to bed.

He will get the idea after 2-4 days... I have a few friends that have done this.

[AndiE]

I'll follow this thread with interest, as we're going through the same with with DS1 (23months).

DH and I decided - as of yesterday - that we'll no longer lay down with DS1 when we put him down for his day sleep. So yesterday, he was put in bed, with his lullaby music/light to hold, and we left the room. He cried on and off for about 10 mins at his closed bedroom door (I went in to him after 5 mins, and put him back to bed) and he eventually fell asleep a few minutes later behind his door and slept for two hours .

I hate hearing DS1 cry when he's left to settle himself, but with DS2 now on the scene, it's becoming more and more impossible to stay with DS1 till he's fallen asleep. I don't love the idea of controlled crying, but something's just gotta give, because DH and I can't spend up to 60 minutes laying with him till he's fallen asleep. We're hoping that if he can settle himself during the daytime without the tears, then it will flow on to night-time sleeps. We're taking things slowly ...

And DS1 crawls into our bed at night, mostly without us being aware ... he crawls in at the bottom of the bed and quietly works his way up between us . Short of keeping DS1's door closed all night - which I'm not comfortable with, it's one thing during the day when the room's still light, but I think he'd be quite upset to encounter a closed door in the dark - I'm at a loss to "fix" this problem. Others have told me that this behaviour will eventually stop ... we can only hope.

Good luck with things, and as mentioned, I'll keep an eye on this thread for tips anyone has.

[YoYo]

I used to have to do this with my DS. I would have to lie on his bed with him till he fell asleep then sneak off.....I didn't have the trouble of him realising and waking up though.

I remember then one night, I really needed to get up and go to the loo.....so I told him, I was going to the toilet and I'd be back....he stayed quiet....waiting.....then I went back in there and he was asleep. After that for a few days I told him that I was off to the toilet and left him to go to sleep......now we say our ritual words....."Night, Night....sweet dreams....see you in the mooooorrrrrning....I loooovvveee Youuuuuu" and I walk away, he puts himself to sleep and I don't see him till the morning (unless there is something wrong)

If my DS does get up, I always make sure I put him back to bed, cover him up tell him it's time for sleep and he's OK.

It took until 23 months for him to do that though. I think consistency is the key and just keep trying till he gets it. I know it must be hard too with such a big belly. Your DS probably knows something is up and is trying to get as much attention from you as he can before baby comes along.

Good luck with it....and good luck with Baby too

[onthefly]

I remember then one night, I really needed to get up and go to the loo.....so I told him, I was going to the toilet and I'd be back....he stayed quiet....waiting.....then I went back in there and he was asleep. After that for a few days I told him that I was off to the toilet and left him to go to sleep......now we say our ritual words....."Night, Night....sweet dreams....see you in the mooooorrrrrning....I loooovvveee Youuuuuu" and I walk away, he puts himself to sleep and I don't see him till the morning (unless there is something wrong)

I think Elizabeth Pantley suggests something like this to establish a pattern of always coming back, so they're reassured and eventually learn to drift off by themselves. I'm thinking of trying it soon as we are moving DS to a single bed. Will be interesting to see how it goes, as he's currently on a queen size mattress on the floor...

[lou76]

Thanks everyone for the words of advice. In true form, the last two nights haven't been too bad with the settling - due to being out and DS falling asleep in the car, and then today he wouldn't go down for a day sleep so he crashed straight after dinner!!

Waking during the night has been an issue though, and I have been attempting to use the "I'll be back" trick which actually worked in the early hours of this morning, so thank you MiniMax and Marcellus for suggesting this. Have also left his night light on too, which appeared to help somewhat.

Pish - we have been 'planting the seed' re: toilet training, but he's not yet ready. He has told us 'Poo' a couple of times when he has woken, so we have taken him to the toilet but he doesn't do anything, and I suspect he uses it as an excuse to get out of bed!! He sleeps with his fluffy 'Monkey' already, so he already has something to comfort himself with. I actually wonder if I should put something of mine next to his pillow so that he can 'smell me' but wonder if this will only create more problems when I am in hospital with bub no. 2.

Didispunk - I am sooo tempted to put up a gate but I'm going to leave that as my last resort if I can. Thanks for the suggestion though.

AndiE - I tried closing the door today (and holding the door handle so he couldn't open it )and talked to him through the door, telling him to go back to bed and giving him a count of 5 to go to bed before I came back in, but it didn't really have much effect on him. I did this a couple of times, giving him longer each time, but he just refused to go to sleep. I agree that sorting out the daytime sleeps will help with the nightime, it's just so frustrating that I'm the only one home most days to deal with it and as I desperately need a snooze myself I end up getting very cranky!!

Anyway, please keep the advice coming, it's good to see what others have done in similar situations.

Cheers, Lou.

[sunshine_sieben]

DD also went through a rotten sleep stage before DS was born. I was as worried as you were.
But, you know what, things sorted themselves out after DS was born.
If DS was awake when it was time for DD's day sleep, I took him into her room where I BF him while waiting for her to fall asleep. At night time, DH took him while I put DD to sleep or he would put her to sleep himself.
DD's night wakings were DH's responsibility, DS's were mine. DS slept with me, so if I had too get up to her, I would have woken him.

DD still sleeps for 2-3 hours during the day (she's 2 & 8 months).
I really hope that your plan to get some shut eye while your toddler sleeps will work out. For me it rarely happens. My kids like to do shifts to make sure mummy doesn't get lonely - very considerate of them, isn't it? *sigh*

[lou76]

Yah - success!! Tonight we have finally been able to try the "we'll be back" method to get him to self settle and go to sleep, and it worked after only 20mins!! We did slip up last night though - DS managed to get into bed without either DH or myslef fully waking up and so ended up sleeping there from 4.30 onwards! We can only try again tonight on that one, but I did ask him if he was going to stay in his own bed all night tonight, and he nodded 'yes'!!

Sunshine-sieben - Thank you for your positive comments, it is good to know I'm not the only one and that things will be ok. I'd never really thought about sitting on bed breastfeeding bubs while trying to get DS to have his day nap, but will definately keep that one to try. I'm determined, in those early weeks, to try and get a nanna nap in if I can!!

AndiE - hope DS is settling OK for you. Let us know if your having any luck with any of the above tips.

Cheers,

Lou.

[onthefly]

That's great Lou!
I've tried it a little, but I can't be gone for long before DS gets upset. He's in his big bed now for teh second night... will see how we go. He refers to it as the new bed, as opposed to his bed (ie, the mattress on the floor). We should just remove it, I know, but it's my fallback for when he needs me in the night. I spent the second half of the night there last night as he just kept waking up and I couldn't do the yoyo anymore. He slept fine with me there, though, and thankfully didn't actually need me to get into bed with him! So that's an improvement really.

[AndiE]

Glad to hear you've had some success with DS sleeping Lou - hopefully it will be repeated again and again till it's the norm. And we know all about sneaky bed sharers here ... our DS1 has a masters degree in this discipline!

As for us, we seem to be going ok with DS1 self settling since DH and I finally put an end to us laying down next to him for up to 45 mins while he settled and finally went to sleep. He will have a little cry (usually no more than 5 mins and getting less each day/night) and then nods off. Only trouble is ... he's falling asleep behind his closed bedroom door !! I tend to leave him there during the day, but we move him after 20 or so mins at night. And lest anyone envisions a "poor", sobbing DS scratching pitiously away at a closed bedroom door at night, begging to be let out ... I promise he's not that distraught! Well ... maybe there IS a little bit of pitious scratching and begging Yes, I'm joking.

One thing at a time though, we'll get on top of him self-settling to sleep, and then tackle his sneaky bed sharing habit.

[onthefly]

AndiE, I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't there with him while he went to sleep DS would do the same...only I reckon he'd be crying for a whole lot longer before he fell asleep.

Well, last night was slightly better. I was able to leave him again after he woke up - twice and the second time he'd fallen out. I had to remind him to scoot over toward the wall so he wouldn't fall out again, but he went back to sleep without too much fuss and didn't wake up when I went back to my own bed.

It takes a loooong time for him to settle at night. Last night he spent ages screaming and sobbing about his stool (by the bed so he can climb up) - no idea what the problem was. I *think* he wanted to take the stool somewhere but we wouldn't let him leave the room. It was strange for him to cry for so long - usually he gets over things like that pretty quickly. Once he finally calmed down he went to sleep quickly, though.

[AndiE]

Marcellus - this toddler sleeping gig is such fun, isn't it We have a barrier on DS1's bed to stop him falling out, cos he's a total wriggle worm in bed. It's hard though isn't it ... we want them to settle and be happy and comfortable when they're trying to go to sleep (as they should be ideally), but in order to do that we end up doing what we "probably" shouldn't be doing iykwim. Sigh ... I honestly believe it is a case of whatever works at the time. Trust me, I don't like hearing DS1 cry and I don't like knowing he's fallen asleep behind his closed door but ... with the arrival of DS2, I (DH too) just wasn't able to wait with DS1 while he fluffed and farted around for 45mins (or more) before finally falling asleep. What you're doing works for you and your DS now and I'm sure you'll both adapt as, and when, you need to .