For those who have children of only one sex

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

If it helps those longing for girls - my son is my mini-Gok. We go shopping together, he gets a comic we can read together and I get a dress my son has found for me. Which, when I try it on (initially just to please DS, now cos it will look fab) it is invariably better than the dress I found and wanted to buy. He loves dressing me up and accessorising me, it's better than Barbie! Yes, I have bought a couple of ballgowns recently, nothing wrong with that.

[Astrid]

Two girls here and not going for any more kids. I am fine with it, if I had to choose boys or girls, then I would choose girls (not sure why, did not even know I had a preference till I fell pregnant). My family was quite mixed with both genders, half siblings etc. DH only has one brother.

I think MIL is disappointed that there are no boys (even though she only had boys herself, you think she would have loved a granddaughter). DH is pretty good about it, they are healthy and that is what matters most of the time. He does express at times not being able to do the boy things. Some other fathers can be so mean about it. Many times he has gotten "aren't you disappointed to not have a son?", makes him pretty angry. I feel a pang for him not having a son.

[RhiChiChi]

I only have DD and I would like a boy, pigeon pair as they say, more for my DH than me and that we probably won't go back for a third if we are lucky enough to even have another baby. BUT, I think for my DD sake, the dynamics of her age and if we were to have a son now, I think it would be like raising two only children - ITMS? My DD always goes on about me having another baby & it is always a girl - now I don't know if that is b/c she is a girl, a girly girl *shrugs* but she does have two very close boys that she is friends with at creche. I'd like to think that I would be content with whatever gender my next baby will be, but only time will tell.

[AnyDream]

I have two girls and I love having two girls and have never felt we needed a boy. DH isn't a really blokey bloke and my girls aren't girly girls so they find they have plenty of common interests and activities. I am one of 2 girls too so it feels perfectly normal to me.

I do understand the yearning however. Before my first DD was born I *reeeeeeeallly* wanted a girl - probably because my own relationshp with my mother is so broken, I really wanted to be able to have a healed and whole mother-daughter bond, if not as a daughter, then as a mother. If I'd had a son I don't think that yearning would've gone away. My friend had 3 boys before finally getting the girl she wanted and I know for her now, and only now, is her little family complete.

[fionas]

I have two girls and couldn't be happier but I AM surprised. When I thought about children I always imagined myself with boys and everyone thought DD1 would be a boy (including myself and DP).

It took a little while to sink in that DD1 wasn't a boy. I can't say I ever felt disappointed, just surprised. Though TBH she's such a tomboy that I'm not sure how having a boy would be much different.

When I found out DD2 was a girl too, I was surprised AGAIN, but over the moon.

I can't imagine my family looking any other way now. DP now has three girls and he would prefer to have girls than boys.

I'd kind of like to have another baby but I have hellish pregnancies that would make it difficult to look after the girls. But if we did, I now can't imagine having a boy at all.

So yeah, no disappointment here, and secretly delighted that I can work on brainwashing the girls to have their babies earlier than I did so I can be a grandma sooner

[AnnaBelle]

A great thread ...here goes ...I have 2 boys and I am really happy with the fact I have 2 sons.
I think if I had 2 daughters I would definately have felt some disappointment and would have wanted to try again
for a son without question ...
But the urge to have a third after having two sons is not as strong.
It is intersting to ask myself why I feel this way and I can only think that it is because of my own family
dynamic 3 girls - who all pleaded for our mum and dad to have a brother for us (which never happened)
Its funny but if we had a third I would be over the moon to have a daughter !!
But at the same time would welcome another baby boy with joy !!
Hmmm Intersting

[My Three Sons]

Funny you mention sympathy! I find it ironic and slightly weird that people can be sympathetic to a man without a son................but as a woman without a daughter I get buckleys sympathy and usually just harsh judgement if Im honest about my yearning for a girl. IMO its the same thing! Especially when I feel society puts such a huge prize on the mother-daughter relationship.

Your right Kels, in the end you will be happy with your baby! I love my boys dearly, especially my youngest who I suffered pretty severe gender disappointment with while I was pregnant. He's even probably the one Im closest to! Those of us who feel disappointed at lost opportunities (either badly or mildly) arent monsters who dont love their kids, quite the opposite.

So true.
Yep... i long for a daughter. I LOVE my boys, they are awesome. But i have a very close bond with my mother and i would have liked the chance at least to have a bond like that with my daughter. My boys are fantastic, but in society today, once they are married, it is generally the wifes family that they gravitate towards more. I know that may not be the case, but who knows. After my 2nd, i had no GD at all. It was when i had my 3rd (a surprise, but one i wanted very much) that GD hit hard- knowing i would never have a daughter. I am sure though it would have been the same if i had 3 girls for me. If i could have picked, i would have had 2 boys then a girl, but oh well.

[AnnaBelle]

Hmm..My 3 sons are you predicting my future???
Hey there is hope - I am a daughter and I love my husband's Mum more than anything
she has a lot of qualities that I wish my own Mum had - and we definately gravitate more
to DH's family
xo
Anna

[Freya]

So true.
Yep... i long for a daughter. I LOVE my boys, they are awesome. But i have a very close bond with my mother and i would have liked the chance at least to have a bond like that with my daughter. My boys are fantastic, but in society today, once they are married, it is generally the wifes family that they gravitate towards more. I know that may not be the case, but who knows. After my 2nd, i had no GD at all. It was when i had my 3rd (a surprise, but one i wanted very much) that GD hit hard- knowing i would never have a daughter. I am sure though it would have been the same if i had 3 girls for me. If i could have picked, i would have had 2 boys then a girl, but oh well.

I agree with you that generally in society the wife's family get more. That said, in my life its different; Im closer with my inlaws than my own parents but that is mostly due to neccesity. My parents are useless so my inlaws stepped into the dominant grandparent role (well as dominant as they can be when we always live 1000's of km away). My MIL was there when my first child was born, she is the person I discuss anything with. If my own mother was the kind of mother every woman should have it probably would have been different BUT I do love my inlaws so they probably would have been nearly equal.

I guess its bad to say but I can only hope one or two of my boys marry girls whose mothers suck!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I'm a lot closer to my PiL than my parents, emotionally AND geographically. DH is too much of a Mamma's boy (in a good way) to run too far away from his parents. I don't believe that the mother's parents are the "better" grandparents anyway - when mothers didn't go back to work so early then yes, the mother would usually want her mother around more (and my mother was very poisonous about her MiL too) - but these days I could see my grandchildren without seeing their mother if I offered free childcare, so I can be favourite grandparent and the children will want to see me!

[willow5]

I have 3 boys and have never felt sad for not having a girl. When I was pg with my 3rd everyone said I must have wanted girl. Some even didn't believe me when I said I really didn't care I just never did. Healthy was my only wish

[My Three Sons]

I didn't mean it happens all the time, but no doubt out of 3 boys- 3 potential wives, i am going to loose out somewhere and at least one won't like me. Who knows.

[Cassius2]

i totally didnt care about the sex of our second baby whatsoever, but for a fleeting moment and a few brief moments after the 20 week scan i did go through a bit of grieving that I would never know what it would be like to have a boy, to have a son ITMS (because bub no.2 was going to be our last). but then after a little bit, i also then realised that i had NO idea what DD2 was going to look like, or be like and funnily enough it was this thought that totally brought me back into balance. we are all made different and boy or girl each child is unique IYKWIM.

[jacklicky]

I only have one at the moment but am currently pregnant but I really am not fussed either way.

I have two sisters and a brother and at different stages of my life I have been closer to each of them. My younger brother is only 10mths younger than me so we had alot of the same friends, my middle sister is only 12mths older so again we did heaps of stuff together..... I just want my DD to have a sibling so either way is fine with me!

[Starter1]

Always thought that it would be one of each. I grew up with the a mix of boys/girls and was very close with each at different stages throughout, and am now close with all of them.

[BexKitty]

im a mama to 4 girls (and a surprise DS) and my daughters are all so close, they do have their moments of course like all siblings, but in the most part they are best buddies, they all sleep in the same room, we had 2 separate bedrooms for them, but they only wanted to be together.
when i fell pregnant with babe #5 i convinced myself i would have a 5th girl (even tho i have boy vibes) and i would have been very happy to have a 5th wee woman
but when we saw the penis on the ultrasound, i was shocked, but kinda knew iykwim?
im now pregnant with babe #6 and would actually like another boy for my son to have a brother, its the first time ive actually wanted a particular sex, dont get me wrong id be happy either way, and my son is adored my his 4 big sisters, but id like for him to have a brother to share boy stuff with.
i kinda have a feeling ill have another girl, i wont be disappointed, but i will feel bad for L, even tho i know he will have his 4 big sisters to dote on him.
lol i dunno if im making any sense at all so will stop rambling :P

[Caz1971]

Its funny cos I have two boys and my SIL has two girls. I wanted at least to have one girl and she one boy. So we didnt get what we wanted. I hope my boys will have daughters of their own, but yeah I'll be the dreaded MIL!

Always loved the girlie stuff, barbies, to do their hair but I cant with boys.

Im 40, If i was 5 or 10 yrs younger, Id def. try for no. 3.

If there was such a thing "to choose the sex" would you do it?

[Jellyfish]

With DD1, I knew I wanted a girl but convinced myself that she would be a boy. I think I was protecting myself. When I found out at the ultrasound she was female, I still wouldn't let myself believe it but as soon as she arrived, I was pretty ecstatic. After DD1, I sort of gave up any ideals of what my family would be as she was a 'wonderful surprise' and I was a single mother. Growing up I always pictured my family being a pigeon pair, very close in age (as my family was me and my brother, 16 months apart) but that wasn't going to happen! I then met DP and when we found out I was unexpectingly pregnant again, I thought I would naturally want a boy but found myself so excited to be having another girl. I absolutely love having two girls and can't imagine a better age gap or dynamic, things just really worked out. DP and I are done now, both of us think two is the perfect number. I had a brief pause at the ultrasound with DD2 where I grieved for experiences missed and was concerned about DP never having a boy (although he thinks two girls is great as he came from a pigeon pair where they didn't get on much at all, go figure; so always wanted two of the same, didn't matter what gender) but really, having two the same is amazing for our girls and having one of each would have been more for us than them if that makes sense.

I think if I had of had two boys though, I would have probably tried to talk DP into a third. I feel very lucky to have what is ideal for me. It is interesting how your own experiences colour your perception of that.