Oh I hear you! TBH I found the time between 18 months and 2 years the hardest, I think mainly because I was learning how to cope with tantrums IYKWIM? I still get them (DS is 2.5), and probably more of them, but now that I know how to best manage DS when he is having one, they aren't as overhwhelming and don't last nearly as long.

I highly recommend Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay to get you through this. She does a brilliant job of explaining how they're minds are developing and why certain behaviours result. It gives you the understanding and the tools to best help your LO through these moments.

With my DS, I've found that 9/10 ignoring him doesn't get the best result. Picking him up and giving him a cuddle while we resolve what it is he wants, or discuss why he can't have/do what it is he wants gets it over and done with quickly. But there is still the odd occassion where he just wants to throw a tantrum (hey, I can understand, I have days like that too LOL). When this is the case the best thing I can do is leave him to it. I come back every couple of minutes and ask if he needs a cuddle, until we finally reach the end of it.

I read a great article once which has stuck with me - it's key theme being tantrums aren't acts of defiance, they're acts of distress. For me it helps to remember this when I feel like I'm getting overwhelmed. Anyway, here is the link Seeing Tantrums as Distress, Not Defiance - NYTimes.com

GL, we all go through it. What works for one child won't necessarily work for another, they're all different. But it does get easier and you will find the best way to work through it with your LO.