i think you did the right thing....sticking to what you normally would do and in turn not confusing your DD. and imagine how bad you would probably feel if you gave in to preasure and did smack her just becasue thats what someone else was doing.

It wrong of them to tell you that you are in anyway a worse mother becasue you did something differently. i would have commented that everyone does things differently and whilst you respect her way of parenting her son people should respect your way of parenting your DD. one way that works for one child wouldnt work for another.