If you were to smack a child because "you're supposed to", it probably wouldn't work because you don't believe in it as a punishment. The child would sense your lack of conviction and become confused about the rules.
FWIW I think you did the right thing. DD didn't yet know the rules so how could she know she wasn't supposed to cross the road?
What would have happened if you had smacked your child and the other was ssat down on the "naughty chair"
You would have been harsh while the other had a better approach.
No matter what you do or how you go about it you will never have everyone agree. Do what you feel is best for you and your child and if others don't approve then that's their problem.
At the end of the day it's your child and you discipline them your wway.
i think you did the right thing....sticking to what you normally would do and in turn not confusing your DD. and imagine how bad you would probably feel if you gave in to preasure and did smack her just becasue thats what someone else was doing.
It wrong of them to tell you that you are in anyway a worse mother becasue you did something differently. i would have commented that everyone does things differently and whilst you respect her way of parenting her son people should respect your way of parenting your DD. one way that works for one child wouldnt work for another.
OK, your cousin is a "good little mother for giving a smack." You are a fantastic, adult, grown-up, reasoning, thinking mother for realising that other people are not right all the time and working out how to discipline (meaning teach, not hit) your child in a way that works for your family. Not someone who will accept banal, undermining and belittling praise for following a herd.
FWIW, I grew up with being smacked and my sister never cared and was completely off the rails (I just lived in perpetual fear, which still impacts my life today). My DS gets time in and he understands consequences and other peoples' feelings more than my sister did at four times his age! He is also not scared to talk to me about anything, even when we decide together that DS did something that wasn't kind.
I think your aunt should respect your choice of discipline just as much as you respect hers.
And if she still is going on about it, maybe remind her that smacking is illegal in NZ and considered child abuse - that might shut her up a bit :P
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