I wonder if it can sometimes have something to do with the birth order itself!? DS1 was (and still can be for the most part) the most placid little boy. I like to think it's a result of his personality and our parenting combinded.

DS2 on the otherhand can be much cheekier. I think the days of DS1 having the upperhand just because of his size have frustrated him enough and he lashes out to try and show his own authority. He has taken to biting and DS1 cops it a number of times a week. I too keep an extra watch on him when playing other children.

I don't know (and hope that it won't) mean that my DS2 will be a bit of a bully when he doesn't get his own way but that is his learnt behaviour being the little brother. From Day 1 i have encouraged love and kindness between the two of them, hugs and say sorry when you've been unkind to eachother but it still doesn't always help. It's not accepteable in our house and i tell the boys that, trying to explain how they hurt the other, made them feel sad, you need to make them happy again... Just trying to think about feelings.

It's so hard and us as parents are often blamed and maybe we don't always have control over who our littles ones become. All we can do is try our best.

Having said that.... I have a nephew that just the other day DH and i were discussing and i can see him being a bully in some way... He already is... I'm not saying this lightly and it does saden me to say it but he is nasty. He grabs his older female cousins breasts, he pulled my DS's pants down in front of everyone, he smacks the females in the family on the backside with real attitude he does not listen to authority at all. It's disturbing to watch as the parents laugh if off and say 'oh don't do that...' never ever taking it more seriously than that. Truthfully it's pretty scary to see a 5 year old acting like this. I am at the point now where if i ever see him do anything towards my children i will say something and not wait for the parents to because they won't. I'm sure from just reading that you would be wondering what goes on at home and i do too, i think the respect for woman is a big issue there but respect in general is aswell.

So what i'm thinking is that in some cases yes it can be from what they learn at home aswell.