What should a 6 & 8yr old be doing around the house- PLEASE HELP

[kawazuki]

we have DS who is 10
and disrespects everything
so now he has nothing
no privilages nothing.

tough you may say. but sorry if he is going to be rude, back chat, treat us poorly
what we spend our money on adn do doesn't apply to him becuase he simply doesn't deserve it.

its hard, and its taken us a long time to do it but we have day 3 and no real change, but after the month he may change
otherwise he will be going to live with his mum.

we will be disrespected no more.

[deletedit]

I'm a messy person myself but there's a point where things get TOO messy and you can't let it go.

I don't have a huge problem getting my 9yo to clean her own room as long as it doesn't get too ridiculous. She used to do the shove stuff in anywhere trick as well because she was getting overwhelmed. Get in there with her and tell/show her how to do it and where things go works pretty well, the little ones seem to like direction and don't like being forced to do a huge job, they like smaller jobs better so break it down for them.

The toddler trashes the lounge though and she's too young yet to convince her to put stuff away. The bigger one gets paid to do that but is inordinately slow because she has to sort everything by colour and line it up by size first instead of just picking up all the books and putting them away and repeating for each type of toy in the lounge. She has several other small non-essential jobs she can do - her idea to do them - so if she doesn't do them they don't get done. Her current bribe for doing it is to build up some money to buy lego with.

I don't let the big one eat in the lounge but the small one is allowed otherwise she screams the house down and won't eat at all so we give in for our own sanity. We're moving house soon to a more modern floorplan where the kitchen/lounge/dining are all in one room so it might not be such an issue there, and moving is a good time to start new habits anyway.

[Cocolove]

thanks for all the advice.

Keep it coming

[Astrolady]

Make it a game. If my lounge room is trashed I will say "Okay you boys find 10 things to pick up and put away properly in the loungeroom, and who can do it the quickest ... ready set go" even Ashton my 3 yr old who can count to 10 gets in there and does it as well.

My boys have their own computer. Have done so for ages, but last weekend it was finally connected to our wireless internet network. They know they are not allowed on till jobs are done. Quicker they get their jobs done, quicker they get to go on. Their connection is via USB so I can disconnect it when I want. During the week I give them 1 big job to do, like last week was clean skirting boards, and I don't mind if it takes the whole week for them to do it all, as long as they do some each day. On weekends they have to clean up general untidyness, bedrooms, bathroom etc.

I found threatening putting general toys etc in the bin didn't work for my lot. Even when I did put a bag of toys that were all over the floor in the bin, neither of them batted an eyelid.

[MissM]

DD has helped me for as long as I can remember - when she was a toddler, she was to put her own toys away (i would help of course) until she was 4, then she done it on her own.

When we visit a relatives/friends house she MUST clean up after herself. It BUG the S**T out of me, when children come to our place and leave a mess! DD knows that if we have guests if you play with something you put it away - so sometimes she comes and dobs on them for not putting their things away No doubt some ppl get cranky, but I dont care, this is my house, and we do not play in living rooms (we have too many breakables) we do not have feet on the lounge etcnd if you dont like my rules dont come here - Teach your children manners! HAHA

We have had a few issues obviously, but my punishment is if its a toy (for eg) I WILL throw it out, i dont care what it is, if I have repeatedly asked you to do something, and you are ignoring me, see how many toys we can throw in the bin, it wont bother me if all your toys are in the bin!

We had a bit of an issue early on in the year where i had to keep telling DD more than twice do clean her room - In the end I told her if I have to tell her again I will get rid of EVERYTHING in her room, she can sleep on tiles & some other child will have fun with her Wii, tv, psp, dsi, stereo, bed, etc. It got done - and gets done everyday! DD knows I WILL do what I say.

DD is now 8, and I have to remind her about putting away her homework, bag etc. I dont have an angry tone often - but when i haveTHAT tone she knows to watch out thats all i generally have to do.

I also agree with the chart - not too sure on the ages of your kids, but its a good way for them to be a bit competitive with each other (in a good way) something like whoever has the most stars at the end of the week is allowed extra game time.

I dont agree with rewarding children with food - i feel this creates an emotional eating pattern. Personally, I would STOP buying lollies & treats for them, until you are convinced there has been change. DONT feel bad for doing it!! This will teach your children responsibility and respect. Your partner will also have to work with you on this otherwise it will be too hard.

[deletedit]

DD knows I WILL do what I say.

Woohoo another "horrible" mother

If you threaten and don't follow through, it undermines you something severe. If you're going to threaten/reward you are doing yourself a disservice if you don't actually do what you say - even an occasional slip can undo it all. Unfortunately if you've already got into a long-standing habit of letting things slide, its going to take a while of being "horrible" (my DD's favourite word) before your kids take you seriously and start doing what you say.

Might be time for a "no more Mr Nice Guy" grand announcement.

[MissM]

Woohoo another "horrible" mother

Love it!! Kids NEED to be shown how things **SHOULD** be done - Bring out Mean Mummy!! :LOL: