medical autonomy is often well before the age of 16. 12 and 13 is not unusual for getting access to the contraceptive pill without parental knowledge if they are deemed Gillick competent. At that age, however, I would hope my child would still want to confide in me.

For things like haircuts I would say much, much, younger. My DS2 had a mohawk shaved for his first day of prep, and chose to have an ear pierced at 6. DS1 chose to have long hair (like his hero, Justin Barcia) at 6 and chose to shave it all off at 7. The only one I am a bit stricter with is girltwin and I know this is complete gender stereotyping but she cut all her hair off when she was 3 and it broke my heart, so now I won't let her have it shorter than a chin length bob. At least until she is a bit older because I like little girls to have long hair, and I know that she enjoys wearing bows and things in her hair so I think she would regret shaving it off (which she has asked to do in the past).

For clothes they all have complete freedom as long as what they choose is appropriate for the weather and clean. Clashing fabrics, gumboots and fairy dresses, pirate outfits to daycare have all been done. They have to wear school uniform 5 days out of 7 (once they are at school) so I encourage self expression outwith those restrictions.