Who and what makes up your village?

[beansbeans!]

Thinking about this makes me really sad. I think before we had children, I believed that having children would bring this closeness that would be gained from meeting people when I was pregnant, making new couple friends going through the same. Meeting new parents at playgroup, school, and have this disney like friendships and group. I even believed that it would bring family together.
In reality, having our first child seem to push us out of our then current 'village'. When she was born I felt so isolated and alone. The few I had met whilst pregnant didn't become friends and slowly old friendships drifted away. Sure the long term friends are there, but the friendship is different and I honestly don't think they are as close as they once were.
Family wise, we are more distant from the extended family then ever before. I thought change would happen, closer relationship with the mother in law, that we would have that disney relationship. But I was wrong.
In reality, our village is us (dh, me, our children), two friends (who happened to be married to each other, so one family), the in laws and dh's aunt and uncle, and one of my aunts and a cousin. Even then it's a distant village that is widespread.

[Kazzo]

I don't think I have a village. I find it really hard to rely on anyone and ever ask or depend on anyone to help or support me I am fiercely independent. In sayng that 99% of the time I am fine with that. In saying that I have had a few occasions were I have had to open my gates up to allow help but it makes me uncomfortable and I find I can't relax.
When it comes to friends, I have a couple of good friends, none that I new from growing up though. I also have one friend that I don't get to see very often and miss dearly and I wish could be part of my village but we are at differnt stages of life and things just don't work out.
I have yet to make any friends with mums from the girls daycare, my own fault though as I don't really open up to people easily.

So I don't have a village but I have something, what that is I don't know but I know exactly why I am this way because I was not always like this. This also got confirmed for me last year when DD1 was in hospital but that is a whole other topic.

[Astrid]

Hmm, I see close friendships and Village as separate, but overlapping concepts.

Close friendships are fewer these days. Busier, changing personally, them changing, moves etc. I have close friends who are their for emotional support, but due to distance are not there for picking up the kids in a emergency. I have a few friends locally that are both close confidants and Village.

I have a village of people, who may not be close, but I know if I called up and said "hey can the girls walk home with your kids after school and I pick them up later?" they would be fine with that. There is just not enough of a connection to be good friends, we can chat about school stuff, local township stuff, but I could never talk to them about issues with DH for example.

If find the Village evolves over the years. Initially it was play group/ABA mothers, some moved onto being friends, others faded away. Then came Kinder, childcare and school and the relationships from that.

Family is only somewhat a part of my Village due to distance and age of some of them. MIL does help where she can, like flying over to help during school holidays.

[wysiwyg]

Hmm, I see close friendships and Village as separate, but overlapping concepts.

Exactly this, for me they are distinct and only occasionally overlap.