:yeahthat:

My Mum passed more than 10 years ago and one of the last things she ever said to me was "I wish you'd given me grandchildren". It's a constant guilt for me.

I always try to be the strong one, the rock. If Mum was around, it would have given me an outlet to tell ANYTHING to. I don't feel like I've got that outlet now so I bottle a lot up inside of me (which isn't good for my health).

Mum would have been the BEST Nanna. She would have spoiled him, played with him and made him feel soooo loved - just like she did with me. I try to remember those things when I'm with Liam and make sure that I'm that person with him (seeing as Mum can't do it). I'm silly with him and muck around a lot. Those are the things Mum would have done. So I change what I do with Liam so that he can get to know Mum through me.

having a bit of a now... sorry. Glad to know I'm not the only one in this boat.