Registered User
We all eat well and maintain a lifestyle that does not support being overweight. I am naturally light so I prefer to look at myself in the mirror rather than the figure on the scales (actually, I've never owned a set of bathroom scales). If I was what might be classified a 'healthy weight' on the charts, at the upper end, with my build I would be overweight, not healthy. My DD1 is like me but tall like her Dad, so her genetics predispose her to being light. DD2 is a chubba, but she's only a baby and so was I at that age! She's showing signs of being much taller than DD1, so if anything I expect her to be light and longer.
DP has shocking genetics for weight (and obesity related health problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) and he could lose a few kgs. At home, we all eat very well, he knows he has to watch his lunches and exercise more. But he does not continue to put on weight, because we eat well and keep active.
Personally, I believe our genetics indicate what we might be like, but then our lifestyle decides what we will be like. We might all be different builds, but because our family has mostly the same lifestyle, no one can stack on the kilos.
Registered User
Janie - this is true. DP and I walk or ride our bike everywhere. Our kids rarely get driven places and when they do they don't like it much. They walk or ride bikes to school and CC and also just recreationally. They see DP and I ride to work every day - rain, hail or shine so it is a normal thing for them. They also swim, do gymnastics and dance. They are on the go a lot which I think is the thing that will make a difference - they see activity as just part of everyday life, not as exercise.
Registered User
I do worry about my girls, at the moment though they are perfectly fine and well within the 'range' for their ages.
BUT
Growing up i was the girl with the bigger more 'athletic' build, the problem with that is i NEED to be super active to stay within my limits, i'm a big girl, i'm overweight and throughout the years i have never been SKINNY, i was always a little bigger no matter how fit, no matter how well i ate.
My girls are super active and i intend to keep it that way, teach them that eating well and being active is the key to be HEALTHY (notice i don't say SKINNY).
DP is quite big, he has always been big (nickname was chubbs) - majority of his family are big - think short people, big build.
My family are Tall people, big build - my mum is obese, my dad has a decent beer gut (rivaled my PG belly) but he has always been active and eaten well.
I hate that people look at a chubby child and automatically assume they eat cr@p, they dón't exercise etc etc.
There is a little boy in DD2's swimming, he's about 4mths younger than her and weighs as much as DD1 - he has so many gorgeous rolls and already wears size 4 bathers BUT talking with his mum this kid eats almost exactly what my girls eat, he exercises and is just as active it's just that he is a bigger boy and he is GORGEOUS.
I'm trying to keep myself thinking positively, the things i know now as an adult can help me with my girls... i don't and won't restrict nasty foods, i encourage them to get outside, be active and enjoy gettings muddy & messy and i will teach them that moderation is the key... i'm working on all of this myself at the moment and it's these things i didn't do as a teen/adult that would have made a HUGE difference.
Registered User
I lost 52kgs a few years ago for myself and my children.
I do not believe that you can be an overweight parent and it not impact your children negatively
I also totally agree with Jen. I don't think genetics play a huge part. I believe lifestyle and diet is 90% of the sum. The 10% genetics just give us an excuse to not succeed.
I do judge parents of fat kids. Not chubby bubbies and not tall in proportion kids. But hell yes I blame parents for fat kids. And I hate that things like our tuckshops are being pushed to be 100% healthy. That takes away my choice to give my kids a balanced diet. By balanced I mean a treat here and there. You do not get to be fat without its being an everyday onslaught of crap and no exercise.
My kids watch maybe two hours of tv a week. They don't own play stations or ds's. They play and play and play. They eat well and enjoy a balanced diet. They all have different shapes but all are very fit/healthy shapes.
I don't worry about their weigh as while they are living with me there won't be an opportunity to get fat!
Registered User
WOW - thanks for that confidence boost, i'm not out to start a fight but you know what - my mum is obese, she may not have been able to join me in the things i did as a kid but she encouraged a balanced diet, sport, sport & more sport - if anything her being obese actually helped me recognise things i needed to change.
I am technically classed as obese, i am making changes for myself and my children but my weight in NO WAY affects the things i do with my kids, it does not affect the way they are taught about healthy foods, exercise or being healthy.
I am the weight i am because i am the kind of person that needs to be VERY physical to loose and often maintain a healthy weight, at the moment with 2 kids, running our home business and due to injuries i'm not getting the chances that my body needs to be at the weight i should be.
I play with my kids, we go for walks, we eat healthy picnic lunches outside together, we ride motorbikes, we chase the dogs, we go swimming - me being fat is not is not impacting on the wonderful life my children lead.
Also i don't agree with the crap & no exercise... we eat qute well here, lots of fruit & veg & the occasional treat - we don't eat crap all day every day, we drink lots of water and very rarely have unhealthy take away.
Being fat doesn't always mean a poor diet.
I say congrats to you thought for loosing 52kgs, that takes dedication and strength - nice work.
Moderator
I believe that is nonsense.
From an entirely statistical POV the father's weight appears to play a much greater role in childhood obesity than the mother's weight.
From an anecdotal POV I have friends who wear an XL (that's for extra lovely) with gorgeous, slender sporty children. On the flip side there is a Mum at my boy's swimming lessons who is gorgeous, toned and strong yet she has a fat kid.
No-one has mentioned the skinny-fat people yet. That is the people who have a terrible diet and don't exercise yet don't gain much weight. They have low muscle tone, crap cardio fitness and are as weak as kittens yet generally no-one sees fit to say that their unhealthy choices will impact negatively on their children. I guess it's because it's easier just to judge someone's parenting on their clothes size.
Fit is the new skinny
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
From an adult point of view, I've had friends over the years who's parents have been stick thin and encouraged healthy food/lifestyle and I've seen it first hand how it can backfire. I have had friends who have been morbidly obese because of the constant obsession about weight pushed onto them by their parents and as the kids got older, they sought comfort in the wrong types of food, or too much good food and not enough exercise. I've then watched my friends get more and more depressed as their parents hounded them about their weight.
There are so many different aspects to it. DH has started mixed martial arts as a weight loss fitness activity. He'd be classified as morbidly obese if you put him on a set of scales, but his own instructor has declared him to be very fit. He is all muscle on his arms and legs and after a couple of classes is keeping up with the people who have been doing it for years.
My mum often hounds DH and I and my brother about our weight. (I could probably lose 10kg pre pregnancy) It just makes us all sad and frustrated with her. We have healthy eating habits. She pestered me for months about joining her gym, completely ignoring the fact that I have DD, the gym has no crèche and I don't have the funds to do so. It has become a sore point between us. Before falling pg, I was somewhat fit, with a good diet and daily exercise, sometimes walking up to 8kms in 90 minutes. But it's still not enough and that's hard.
So I think all you can do is encourage healthy habits, but without the pressure that many people put on kids.
Administrator
My children are very slender. I am not. Yes I am responsible for that, I could do much more than I am and I own that. But I am not this way because I believe fried chicken skin is a vegetable.
I was always skinny, ate well, exercised. When I was 18 I put on 30kgs in a year, not from over eating, my diet never changed, not from lack of exercise I was at a gym/I rode a bike most days, and we didn't own a car and I walked. My Dr's panicked and did a whole range of tests. I had insulin resistance. I have fought with diets over the years, the good ones, the bad ones, I've done gym workouts... But I know now what I need. I need to eat less. A lot less. Like the same as a 2 year old less and I need to exercise A LOT. Crash diets and fads won't help me. And I'm slowly building my way towards that lifestyle. My children on the other hand are perfect.
I think it's important to note that just because someone is overweight doesn't mean they put bad things into their mouths or are lazy... and just because someone is underweight doesn't mean they have an eating disorder. I never judge people based on my own journey. I judge myself based on my journey. Everyone really should do the same. And size doesn't mean the children will be that way. Sometimes it's a psychological thing, sometimes it's genetics but you can't have *the* answer for everyone just because you are who you are and you did what you did.
Registered User
For me this is the key - I make a clear point of using the words fit and healthy when DD's discuss food choices/activities and it is not a big emphasis on it anyway.Fit is the new skinny
I have a few close friends that eat small amounts of mostly unhealthy food and who would be called 'skinny'. I am sure their arteries are not tho!
Registered User
Just out of curiosity I did a BMI calculation for my kids and all four of them have a BMI of 0 and are underweight. Kinda proves how bullsh.it the BMI is really. I know I have two beanpole kids but I would never consider them to be underweight.
Registered User
According to the BMI I am underweight... But I eat good, excersise a little (I could do a lot more)...
I struggle to put on weight, and I have to say I do worry about my girls with that aspect because I want to make sure that they are eating enough of the good foods to maintain a healthy weight range and remain healthy, and worry that they are going to be a little on the light side.
Registered User
Yeah my Wii Fit tells me I need to gain weight, but I'd have to be quite unhealthy to get there. Although when I really put extra effort into exercise (as opposed to just being active like I normally am) I can put on 2-3 kgs of muscle.
Registered User
Just to add my mum is fat, she has been nearly all my life. I dont blame her for my weight gain, i own it. I was lovely and slim in childhood, my parents provided us with a balanced diet and loads of sport.
But both my sister and i ended up very over weight. There has to be some relationship between our mothers weight and our....
I stand by what i said and i also add that most of the 'reasons' given for being fat and not exercising are excuses, plain and simple. I had three kids, a husband that worked away and a back injury. I was new to moving interstate, i was working. Theres a truck load of excuses, or i could have a blinding moment of IM FREAKING FAT. i can pretend that it wont affect my kids, i can say its ok im this way cause i dont feed my kids bad food, my weight didnt stop me being active with my kids...... BUT THE TRUTH WAS I WAS FAT, fat fat fat. I was not being the best mother i could, the best wife i could or the best person i could.
i have to work hard to stay fit and eat well, the only difference now days is i dont lie to myself.
My kids will have to fight their own battles, but im going to give it my best shot at teaching them better skills at dealing with life than i was taught/saw/lived!
Moderator
One thing I think is interesting is how "fat" is often seen as some sort of moral failing. Why?
"Fat" is a socially constructed concept.
Registered User
That's a whole other thread
Registered User
100% of parents will negatively impact on their childrens lives at some stage, no one is perfect.
My fat butt and skinny kids are wonderfully happy thanks very much.
Moderator
My mother has an eating disorder. Still. She's in her late 50s. Her obsessions, traits, quirks and hospital admissions were always 'explained away' when i was a kid. Now i know better.
I am so pleased that so many of you mums have said that you eat well and try to exercise and avoid talk of fat and diets. And i do think this influence has more of an impact on the same-sex children (i.e. the same-sex as the parent ITMS). I was confused as a kid and i did think that women and men ate differently (i.e. females couldn't be seen to indulge or enjoy foods - well, only in private or hidden). Genes did play a part in our family too - of course they do in all families. My poor sister had it even tougher. No matter what she did she could never change her fabulous figure - and now she has all the breasts and i'm sooo jealous!!
Leading by example. I hope i do it as well as you all do too.
Registered User
yes. I do look at my weight and my children's weight. I have a beanpole son and a beanpole with fries daughter! I hope they both carry a healthy amount of weight that won't strain their heart and lungs and joints and muscles so that they can see their grandchildren populate mars or cure cancer or whatever genius thing my kin will end up doing!!!
Our daughter is a real chubster. Swings from 110th percentile (if that's even logical) to 97th percentile for both weight and height (and yes, she does look like she could eat other babies her age lol) so we do talk about setting good examples for food and exercise, particularly for her. My boy is a boy and loves to run and jump and play outside, DD is only 11 months still but she's showing the same trait so we'll just encourage that.
like many have said here, you have got to lead by example. I've just lost the last 12kg of breeding weight from 2 babies in 18 months and feel fab. BAck swimming seriously and we ride with the kids in the bike trailer loads. We walk and go to the park with the bikes. it's so much more fun feeling strong and fit and being able to ride 10 or 12km with the kids to get the groceries.
And I also very selfishly want to be a "hot mumma" and have my kids think "our mum is such a strong woman, active and healthy and a great example". I truly wnat them to be proud of me. I love the thought of oneday walking across france/spain like the pilgrims used to or doing the overland track in tassie with the kids or even just going for jogs of an evenign with them and hearing about their day. I want them to have exercise and activity as much a part of their life as TV and books. Where they don't 'schedule time" or "have to go training" or whatever, but where it's just life and a love.
We eat healthy and have the occasional treat. but just as importantly, we eat rationally (and i come from a notorious family of 'big eaters'). By that i mean the quantity of food. I know some of you here have posted about being overweight and still eating healthy/exercising and that is great, but obviously there is also another factor in terms of your carrying extra weight and often times that is the serving size ie energy in isn't equalling energy out. I really do believe the supersized meals you get served when out and 'all you can eat' mentality is having a huge impact on our society.
and just as a side bar regarding sport. i genuninely believe that kids heavily involved in sports or are really involved in another hobby/activity as teenagers tend to get into less mischief than their non-sporty/arty/have a serious hobby counterparts.
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