The mother-baby dyad is important, it's the cornerstone of the person your child will grow up to be. Being a mother and caring wholeheartedly for your children doesn't make you less of a person, or even a different person, necessarily, though it may mean you make changes to what you do with yourself day to day.

The first 2-3 years are incredibly intense, but it changes so quickly - DS is only just turning 4 and he's incredibly independent now. Our relationship has changed enormously in a very brief time. The bond, the nurturing - humans need that, it's just biology and the way we're designed to develop. I don't begrudge my kids that, but I also know that I"m important, too. I get time to do other things - more and more as they get older - it's that swing in the balance. When they're little, they need me physically, so much more, but they'll need me in other ways as they get older.

As a mum, my children's wellbeing is important to me - who would say otherwise? I try to create the conditions so they can thrive, and yes, my own happiness is tied up in that to some extent. But not wholly - aside from anything else, I can't actually guarantee that they'll be happy or well or safe. Not 100%. And as they get older they'll take on more and more responsibility for themselves. It feels a bit weird sometimes, letting go, but it also makes me proud, to see my DS out there, you know?

Sometimes as parents we do have to put things aside that we might otherwise want to do in order to care for our children. You can see that as sacrifice, if you want, or as losing yourself. I see it differently - it's a compromise made with good reason. Life is full of compromises, we make them all the time - some big, some small. Do you lose yourself every time you make one? Or do you rationalise that this is what I have to do right now? When circumstances are different, I'll do differently.....

I think a bigger problem for parents - and more often mums - is that they're all alone, overburdened and without help and support in their communities. That would leave you feeling lost, for sure. It's not motherhood, it's parenting in isolation that's the problem, really.