Gina Ford Contented Baby book

[AndiE]

Hi Bathsheba,
Bottom line for me is that each mum has to do what's best for her and her bub. Yep, it's great the book worked well for my mates ... and I still think I'm going to give it a go and see what happens ... but it doesn't mean the book is going to suit every mum ... and neither does it have to.
Ahhh - for all I know I'll throw the book against the wall within the first week or two!!
: )
Have a good one, Andie

[mum2ollie]

Hi ladies, I'm new to this site, and only because I came accross this thread and felt I had to reply. I can speak from experience about this book and absolutely swear by it. I used it to raise my son who is now nearly 15mths old. The book reads scarier than it actually is and to be honest in the early days life with a new baby is chaos regardless of what book you do or dont follow. I BF for 11 and a half months and expressed one feed a day to let daddy have a turn. BF'ing wasn't impacted by the routine at all. The feeding was guided by the routine and worked very well. I have several friends who followed Gina's routines and have all had success. The key is to follow the advice strictly in the beginning and then you can relax a bit with it once the routine is established. I didnt find i was bound to the house but rather felt the routine gave me more freedom to manage my day and provide quality time for my husband and I while my baby got a good nights sleep. We highly recommend this book, it really has helped us to raise a contented little baby and we will be using it again with our next baby without hesitation.

[cikina]

Well I have read the book and tried the routine, but it have never worked for me as my baby never lasted the given times between feeds. She would be crying her heart out and I could tell she is screaming for food, so how could I not give it to her? Unfortunatelly this problem was not addressed in Gina's book, hence I couldn't follow her routines :-(

[Bathsheba]

Don't feel like a failure Cikina Many women I know would feel exactly the same if they had tried to follow those (I think) impractical routines in Gina's book. I think at the end of the day someone really needs to have HAD a baby themselves to understand the reality behind life with a baby. For example: which exhausted mum with next to no support other than from her equally exhausted husband would ever wake a sleeping baby to conform to a routine??? Has Gina ever experienced the kind of sheer exahustion that comes after being pregnant for 9 months and having to care for a newborn while still in recovery and getting used to the physical demands of breast feeding??? No, she has not. Her routines also do not seem to factor in caring for other children as well... often several others.... it makes the assumption that you only have to deal with this ONE child's needs. Like I said, I have read this book and I don't believe she ever mentioned the possibility of having to weave her routines into those of other children.

I know there are members in this thread who seem to have sucess with Gina's routine but I also feel that this book has probably done as much harm as good... I am sure Cikina is not the only mum that has felt even more inadequate as a result of trying to adhere to the (I think) impractical routines of this book. There is just no comfort for the mum in the pages of Gina's book... when you compare the book to say that of Pinky McKay where the mum is encouraged to nuture herself as well as her baby (caring for a carer is of vital importance). Stern matronly dictatorship writing is really dated i think... I think Gina could do well to develop a bit of compassion. I think there is no place for being firm with a baby... it implies that a baby has the ability to be "naughty" and "inconsiderate" which is obviously crazy. And worst of all it erodes TRUST. Yes babies often like a bit of predictability... but one thing they like to be able to predict is that mum will try to give them what they need... I just don't see Gina as being child-focussed... she is blatantly parent focussed and I basically feel that is selfish. Very few adults would be happy imposing such rigid routines on themselves so why is it ok to impose them on a baby? What on earth is wrong with being a little flexible?

This has turned into a bit of a rant. However I am not attacking anyones choice for giving Gina's routines go... I am questioning the philosophy of the book... not the members here... like I said, I too have bought this book and have formed an opinion which is as humble as anyone elses. I would also like to remind members that like it or not BellyBelly is a Gentle parenting forum... and perhaps if you are seeking more support for implementing Gina's routines then maybe you are more likely to find it at another forum.

[AndiE]

Cikina - I second Bathsheba's comments ... don't feel like a failure because the book's routines didn't "work" for you and your baby. The routines will suit some people, but certainly won't suit others. You absolutely have to do what is best for you and your bub - regardless of any book or advice from others.

Bath - I reckon it's horses for courses in terms of the book and its routines. Yes, they are rigid, and as I said above - that will suit some people to a T. But hopefully anyone who gives it a try and finds it doesn't work for them, throws the routines away and adapts to what their baby needs. To me, that's just common sense. You've made fair points, but admittedly I didn't get the impression that Ford thought babies needed to be treated with a firm hand. I guess I'm thinking of that horrid Truvy approach, or whatever it was, from that 'Bringing up Baby' series recently on the ABC. Now THAT was a shocking routine!

Despite my original intentions to use Ford's routines with DS, I found I really didn't need to. Fortunately, from the time DS was born, he quickly decided he'd like to be fed approx every 3-4 hours, and he slept easily day and night. Truth be told, I was blessed with any easygoing, adaptable child who determined his own little routine. In hindsight, I doubt I could have stuck to Ford's routine as rigidly as I was supposed to, and the routines don't really account for anything "out of the ordinary" happening.

I still think Ford makes some very valid points in her book - such as getting your baby used to going to sleep in its cot from the get-go; having block-out curtains so that baby's room is dark during the day; expressing so dad can give baby one feed a day, and probably the best tip of all - the longer you can (realistically and gently) get your bub to stay awake during the day, the more likely they are to sleep at night. At least, that worked for us - and I didn't have to torture DS to keep him awake and amused for an extra few minutes during the day (I'm thinking of that Truvy method again!)

At the end of the day - all mums (and dads) have to do what's right for their bubs and them. Ford's book has worked a treat for several easy-going, terrific parents I know ... equally it hasn't suited others, and they've thrown the book and its routines out the window and concentrated on raising a content child their way.

Andie

[MantaRay]

If the routines work for you, that's great. As has been said, it's horses for courses. Having had two babies, I honestly believe that it will only work in the minority of cases, so no-one should feel bad if it didn't work for them, or for choosing a different option - I am a huge fan of Pinky McKay's books.

I do recommend caution though with the feeding times. Newborn infants need to feed between 8 and 12 times in a 24 hour period - this is their physiology, and also due to the nature of bm which is designed to be easily digested. Their tummies are only as big as their tiny fists, and really, apart from overnight, how many of us even as adults with huge tummies would go more than 2 hours or so without a drink of some kind - water or a cup of tea? And as our physiology as bfing mums also relies on baby feeding frequently, routines where babies are only supposed to be fed every 3 or 4 hours will in most cases result in a loss of supply. So if you are following a prescriptive routine just keep this in mind.

[Bathsheba]

Excellent point about the feeding times Manta.

Andie: Yes I did rant but I still do maintain that I actually can't think of any baby that would really benefit from Ford's routines... especially now that Manta had reminded me about the feeding times in relation to a the size of a babies stomach... and not just nutrition, but hydration! Newborns depend not on milk for food but for most of their water intake... I would be very concerned that a mother in the middle of a hot summer would make her newborn adhere to a routine and stop using common sense. So much of baby caring depends on a carer having common sense and being flexible... and I really don't think there is a place for rigid routines. Any mother would know that ill baby needs flexibility... does Ford take this into account??? Is a sick baby meant to be woken as well?

Also I think you were referring to Tizzy Hall. ANOTHER childless woman trying to instil ridiculous routines on babies and vulnerable parents

As always just my opinion... not judging members who give these routines a go (and take bits from them at that are helpful... which I guess I agree could be helpful to some families).