Thanks everyone, I will definitely check out the books and methods you guys recommended.

As for the centre, my sister works there and she told me they practice controlled crying; I assumed that meant as a matter of policy for all babies, and thought it must be that way in most childcare centres. Now that I know that's not the case I will definitely ask her tomorrow if they are inflexible about it or if I could get them to compromise.

Otherwise I will look around at other centres, now that I am better informed. I just assumed that controlled crying was the norm; I'm glad I was wrong!