How should I start a routine??

[SophieRose]

I have no idea how to start Aiden on a routine. He usually sleeps most of the day, then up from around 12am to 3-4am then sleeps till about 8:30am then after a feed and change goes back to sleep until about midday.
Unfortunatley he's gotten into Dp's graveyard shift routine. And now i'm not sure how to get him out of it and make his bedtime around 7pm or so.
Any advice? My brain turns to mush when i try and think about it. Lol

[Winter]

Hi Sophie,

Aiden is a little too young to worry about routines just yet. You'll find that over time he'll naturally fall into a more manageable routine, as he gets bigger and he sorts out night & day etc. Just go with the flow for a little while longer, you'll probably see a change at around 3 months or so.

Good luck, hope that helps.

[MummyNaomi]

Hey Sophie - I agree with Winter, they do seem to 'fall' into a routine around 12 weeks - my DS started calling it a night at 630pm-ish about this age and would wake up about 7-8ish, and although he was still feeding 3-4 hourly at night at this point, he would go back to sleep within 15 mins after a sleepy feed. A tip that might help though is when Aiden is awake in the middle of the night eg from 12-4, keep things really low key - eg lights and noise low, avoid play, stimulation, too much eye contact etc and this may help him go back to sleep quicker - I used to stroke my little boys face and sing softly to him (and still do) to relax him.

Also, its never to early to start the bathtime/book/cuddle routine, although it might not work straight away, you'd be surprised how quickly they catch on.... as soon as we put DS into his grobag after a bath, gently massage and cuddle/story, he seemed to 'know' it was bed time and would snuggle in for sleepy cuddles and nod off for the night

HTH

Naomi

[harleysgirl]

The only type of routine i ever do with my bubs that young is have a bath at night at the same time every night that puts them into a night routine which will carry into a normal day and night routine on their own.

Good Luck

[Winter]

The only type of routine i ever do with my bubs that young is have a bath at night at the same time every night that puts them into a night routine which will carry into a normal day and night routine on their own.

Good Luck

Agree totally with this Harlesgirl!

[HollyC]

Child and Youth Health SA promote what Naomi said about keeping things low key at night. They also say that it is ok to try and keep bub awake a bit more during the day by having some gentle play time after feeds. This is supposed to help them sort out night and day. Lots of info on their website.

If you are interesting in routines you may want to check out Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. I only got this book when DD was about 9 months old, but I have implemented some of her strategies and quite like it.

[littlelara]

The thing that worked best for us is making sure dd was up at 7:00 every morning and never letting her sleep past 3:30 in the afternoon.
Lunch was always at 11:00, nap at midday, dinner at 5:00, milk at 6:30, teeth, story and song and then bed at 7:00.
She turned 4 last week, and it still works basically the same.
No matter how the previous night pans out, or how tempting it is to let her just sleep and sleep, I'd stil get her up at the same time. So if it's ds' morning nap that's blowing out, maybe make sure he's up again at 10:00 so he can go down 2 hours later.
HTH

[MummyNaomi]

No matter how the previous night pans out, or how tempting it is to let her just sleep and sleep, I'd stil get her up at the same time.

Oooooh, glad this works for you Little Lara but I must say - my mantra is 'never wake a sleeping baby', like us they have tired and alert days and sometimes need more sleep and I do believe that if they are asleep its cos they need it, its when they do all their growing. I have woken DS a few times when we have had appts etc and have paid the price and upset my little man greatly, so just wanted to put another perspective on this one

However having said that, it might work a treat for your baby Sophie, its all trial and error until you find that magical thing that suits Aiden

[Winter]

I agree, I like the mantra of never wake a sleeping baby! Go have a cup of tea, put your feet up and enjoy the quiet!!

[littlelara]

Hang on, wasn't the question how to get them into a routine in the first place?
If my two sleep in now I'm happy to let them sleep, but for the most part the routine stands and they wake at 7:00 of their own accord. it's only until they get used to the change that you need to worry about waking them first thing

[MummyNaomi]

I agree, the question was how to get them into a routine, but just pointing out that sometimes flexibility needs to be shown to meet the babies (and parents) needs too - no point waking up a baby that needs its sleep either. Aiden's not even 3 months yet so if he's been up from 12-4am, re-waking him at 7am may rob him of precious sleep that a newborn/young baby needs.

Look every kid is different, hence every Mum is going to give different advice, none of us are right or wrong, we are just going by our own experiences as we can only comment on what has worked for our babies, and like I said above it may work for Sophie and Aiden. My DS is 6 months and there is no way he could stay awake from 7am till midday for a nap, he'd be the devils child by then LOL. Its important to remember that a 2-3 month old needs approx 15 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, a 4yo only needs about 11 hours. Your routine sounds fantastic for your kids littlelara and its obviously working a treat, I was just adding a further suggestion for Sophie to consider, not dissing yours in anyway

HollyC mentioned the SA CYH website, and I agree, it is an awesome site - take a look at this link Sophie, hopefully its helpful to you Parenting and Child Health - Health Topics - Sleep - birth to 3 months

Good Luck, hope Aiden gets more in sync with what you are after soon

Naomi

[littlelara]

Sorry, I didn't check the bub's age.
I have to admit we didn't really worry til Beth was about 6 months old

[Megan]

Sophie, as a few others suggested we just started a bath/story/bedtime routine each night. We would start around 6pm and I would offer him a feed after his bath. It only took about a week for him to get the hang of it. We started this when he was around 3 months old. He doesn't sleep through the night, but he does wake just to have a feed and then goes back to sleep. I make sure I keep the house dark, feed him, rock/cuddle him and he's fine to go back down.
My DH works nights so our evenings are really rushed and busy, but it has made a huge difference having a bit of routine in our lives.

[Arcadia]

The advice I was given (and seems to follow everyone else's) was up until 12 weeks you do whatever the baby wants. The first 3 months is also called the fourth trimester for this reason. After that you can start to impose some structure.

By 3 months DD naturally started sleeping 5 hours between 7 and midnight and then having two feeds between midnight and 7am. I then just tried to bath her at 6pm each night and feed her around 6:30 and then into bed at 7pm. We still do the same thing.

HTH

[*EJ*]

I would also have to say the advice i was given is not to really expect a routine before 3 months of age also. My experience was...

DS1 was in a great routine and it worked so well for him and me and we both knew what he wanted and when he wanted it. But honestly can't remember back to when that all began and how we got there We still have a routine with him today and i truely believes he's a happier boy for it.

With DS2 I struggled in the early months because i realised i am a person who NEEDS routine but i couldn't expect that from such a young bub. You will also find that routines will come and go as their feed/play/sleep routines changes (awake times change etc). One minute i think ok we've got one going here and the next it's not happening at all. That is the way things went for me and DS2 anyway.

All i try do is keep the routine of feed/play/sleep going as best as i can but it's not always to the clock. Eg: Bedtime may be 6 or it may be 7 but either way he's had dinner, bath, massage & pj's then bed.

If you've got the idea of wanting a routine in your head you'll probably find that you guys will just fall into one as time progresses without even realising it. Until then enjoy bub and just go with he tells you he wants when he wants it.

[SophieRose]

Thanks for all the great advice ladies!!
Sorry i didn't put in my original post i'm not trying to get him into a routine right now. I was thinking of possibly starting one around 3-4 months. Right now i'm just letting him sleep and wake whenever he wants.

I'm super lucky because Aiden is the most quiet calm little guy. I never know when he's overtired because he never gets cranky. Lol. And he barely rubs his eyes so you have to catch him doing it otherwise you won't know.

He even started to sleep through the night now. But as i said, Dp gets home around 12 to 3am, Bub wakes up around midnight and stays awake until around 4am when we all go to bed together. Then he sleeps the rest of the night bar one feed around 8am.

The graveyard shift routine can't be good for the little guy. Thats whats worrying me.
He seems to have adapted to his fathers hours, and i want to change them in the next few months so he grows up understanding the whole day/night thing.

Winter- I'm actually sitting with my feet up with the laptop and a tea right now. Aiden's asleep in his pappasan and it's a beautiful day. Ahh, is there nothing better?

[HollyC]

Hi Sophie,

I recommended Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall in an earlier post. I have just been reading some other threads in this section and I see that some people really don't like this book.

I guess I just wanted to say that it seems my suggestion is controversial. I found the book useful and it suited my DD, but it isn't for everyone. I only used the aspects of the book that suited us and dismissed a lot of other information.

[Snacks]

What goes on in the house when your DH gets home, Sophie? If the lights are all on and you and your DH are catching up noisily before going to bed, that could be enough to confuse your DS into thinking that it's 'awake' time...? I'm just digging around for ideas
I thoroughly agree with Naomi - keeping it dark at night and light in the day was the key for us with both DD's. We didn't put curtains up in DD's room until she was around 10mo and she started waking up waaaaaaay too early, LOL. Maybe you could gently suggest to your DH to tiptoe in at night and try not to use many lights?