i need to be told its okay.....

[onthefly]

I know it's really hard right now mbear, but look around in here: lots of mums that have been there too and we're still going.

[ll80]

I havent read all the responses but my little one 10.5mths is still up 4-5 times a night,and needs a feed to re-settle each time.
So I completely understand what you mean when you say you're tired!
It'll get better, just have to ride it out!

[Shanti]

I really needed this today too! I have just got back from mothers group with my confidence knocked! All their babies are sleeping through, in their own cots for 12 hours! I felt like the sucker with the co-sleeping wriggler whose cot takes up half the room and the total lack of privacy.

But this is exactly what I needed to read today. DD is only little for such a short time, I will get my bed back, I will get my room back and I will get my love life back.

Won't I??

Winter, I always wonder though, are ALL those mothers telling the truth????

And yep, I too, constantly remind myself that DD will only be little for such a short time and I will miss these days when they are grown up! (not the lack of sleep but the other stuff!!)

[Winter]

Probably not, Shanti! I'm sure none of them sleep through all the time, but they all parent so differently to me...I really love the women, but I feel like a fish our of water in my parenting choices.

I'm just so thankful that there is a beautiful bunch of women on here who can prop each other up when the doubts creep in.

*Mwah* I love youse all! xox

[Willow]

Mbear - I truly know how you feel because DS1 was the same. You need to do what works for you and what you're comfortable with.

For ME, we got to 10 months and I hit rock bottom. I just couldn't take the sleep deprivation any more and hated the mum I'd become (cranky, irritable, yelling at the kids constantly etc) We went to sleep school (and didn't use CIO methods) and that's what worked for US. I wish it didn't happen that way but I have no regrets about it.

Before then I just did whatever worked to get the most amount of sleep for both of us. Hang in there, one way or another he WILL eventually get there.

[mbear]

Thanks gorgeous ladies.....

Shanti - your so right. Deep, deep down, i know what im doing is ok...i know its working for us (kinda). I guess like Winter () i get really anxious and uptight when i hear 'oh my god...your still up 4 times a night', or 'maybe you should start solids'. Its then i question myself, its then i start to think 'why isnt my baby sleeping 12 hrs'. It truly does my head in.
Your all right...i know it goes quickly. I remember crying (yet again....) to my DH when DD#3 was 8 months old, saying i cant do this sleep depo anymore...its killing me. Now, she runs to bed at 7pm, gets all juicy under the blankets, says 'nite mumma' and we dont hear from her till 7am next morn. That day...for my little boy seems a zillion galaxies away.....

Marcellus...your right, i know there are a lot of BB gals up at all hours like moi....i guess just having a show of hands that 'hey, ive been there too' is somewhat comforting. Rather than the ' you should call tresillian, he sounds really bad !'

Bek - no more crying....pulease............

Thanks lovies....you think by #4 i kinda would know whats instore...but nope...they are all sooo different.....
XX

[Winter]

Sorry to have hijacked your thread Mbear, it was just that I am feeling the exact same way as you!

Hope you are feeling better, I know these replies have helped me feel better about what I'm doing & what the real goal is.

[Willow]

you think by #4 i kinda would know whats instore...but nope...they are all sooo different.....

Yep hun, they sure are and DS1 taught me that. It was hard at the time but now I appreciate all the things he taught me about being a mum.

And you know people say those sorts of things to make themselves feel good about what an awesome parent they are becaues their kid sleeps. Most of us know it's just the luck of the draw, some sleep, some don't. So try not to take it on board (and I know that's hard when it feels like the whole world is alseep while you're up for the 4th time that night).

Big babe, you're doing an awesome job.

**ETA: Mbear the other thing is, he's only 5 months old!!! He's still so little and needs his mummy. I think he sounds like a pretty normal little baby to me.

[onthefly]

:yeahthat:

How well your baby sleeps is not a valid metric for evaluating your performance as a parent...

[Shanti]

Yep exactly... I agree. Some babies are just better at sleeping than others.... and for those mum's with bubs who sleep 'through' (whatever their definition is of that!) from a young age.... may have troublesome teens when they are older hehe
At least while our bubs are up with us in the middle of the night, 1,2,3 times or whatever, we are getting some lovely warm cuddles even if we do feel like zombies.
We are all doing such a great job as Mum's

[BellyBelly]

Well there was a study that said sleeping through was on average....... 5 hours!!!

Some babies sleep more during the day than others and make up for it at night and vice versa. Some, like my first, don't like to sleep at all! Just their little personalities shining at an early age. She's a real go-getter, full of beans and ideas. Mum says its karma - I was exactly the same as her, wanted to party at night!

[Willow]

She's a real go-getter, full of beans and ideas.

My little fella is exactly the same, always on the go, never stops!

[Janie]

And mine too LOL! Why sleep, you might miss out on something? Willow, it's a shame we can't get our boys together

[Liviam]

You are doing an amazing job with H, especially since you have three others kids demanding your time and attention as well. I've got no advice for you (you don't want any off me, mine DS is sleeping even less than yours - feel better??) but heaps and heaps of support, hugs and an cyber ear.