Forgive me if this post is all over the place... I'm exhausted.
I've recently decided to implement some ideas from 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' (Thanks Tellytubby ) and I'm struggling already! So far I'm recording what's happening during the night, in an effort to get a clear idea of where I might be able to improve. Anyway, the first night he woke 9 times. Last night he woke 11 times!!!!!!!!!!!! His longest stretch of sleep was only 1 3/4hrs. I'm so tired, I don't know what I'm doing to mess up his sleep so badly. He wasn't even this bad as a newborn, and seemed to be getting into his night-time sleeps over the last couple of months. I feel like recording what happens is really highlighting just how crap the nights have been... and it makes me feel worse seeing it on paper!
I was able to get up to a 5-6hr stretch most nights........ now (without changing anything I'm doing) I'm getting between 45min and just over an hour. Thing is, he doesn't WANT anything. His nappy is fine, he doesn't want or need a bottle..... he just cries and wants me to hold him in strange positions. He doesn't even seem to like it if I just bring him straight into my bed... he kicks and carries on and all I'm doing is cuddling him. I don't get it? My routine used to work. He used to love co-sleeping. Now he won't sleep on his own, OR with me. Co-sleeping was my last resort to try to avoid extreme sleep deprivation, and now that it's not working anymore I'm lost.
So last nights stats were as follows.
11 wakings
11 1/2hrs night sleep
4hrs daytime naps
15 1/2hrs total sleep.
He's getting a good amount of total sleep for his age........... but it's soooooo broken. I don't want to spend my days lying on the couch trying to nap when DS does. I'm getting nothing done!
How old is he Hun? (sorry on my phone so can't see sigs or tickers) is he due for a wonder week or developmental leap? I know at the 3 month wonder week Hamish's sleep went haywire and he had been sleeping through! I can look up the weeks and leaps for you if I know how many weeks he is. Hugs Hun I know how hard it can be. H is back to one wake up at night now.. So they do get past it in time xo
My little man us exactly the same! He wakes 7-10 times a night, we co-sleep which isn't ideal for me as I sleep in awkward positions when he's in bed which makes my back really sore!
I've also got the book and have tried some of the ideas but I guess it takes time!
Hun my DD went through the exact same thing at 4 months old. All of a sudden she was waking hrly to 1.5hrly through the night. She did this every night for 6 weeks and then it stopped. She just decided one day to sleep through the night. Before that she was doing 3-4hrly wake ups, then it went to 1-1.5hrly for 6 weeks and now she sleeps through the night. We have the occassional crappy night but for the most she sleeps through. I didn't change anything either. It's nothing you've done. Just wanted to say there's hope and hopefully it's just a phase and he will be sleeping better in no time. I know how hard it is to function but for now do what you need to do, nap when he does to get through it because it will pass.
Sorry I can't offer any practical suggestions. Goodluck.
Soemtimes keeping track of iit like this really does make it worse
It could well be a phase associated with his age (let's hope it passes soon!) Actually, sleepign on the couch when you ahvea chance is probably the best thing you can do right now. I would suggest not trying to monitor his sleep or make chagnes till things settle down a bit more first.
I would say that it is probably due to a developmental leap... DD2 was born the same day as Jakabellas Little Man, and a lot of the babies in our group did the same thing, one bad nights i was up every 45-90 mins, this is the week that they are starting to come out of it, so hopefully we will be seeing some changes.
I have not done anything this time around and i agree with MadB, when i was writing down the times that i was up, it was worse... DD2 is awake because she needs me or a feed, i just stopped tracking it and adjusted MY sleep so that i wasn't so tired.... We had been meaning to get a TV replaced in our bedroom and we did that, so often i will go to bed at 8.30-9pm with DH and we will watch TV in there, that way i can fall asleep earlier and get some additional sleep...
THis is not forever, it sucks when they are worse that when newborn, but it will not stay forever... nap when you can and try and enjoy the cuddles as i find thats the only way its easier for me.
i'm inclined to agree with MadB on tracking sleep. my DS was never a great sleeper (and still doesn't 'sleep through' at 2) & (with the benefit of hindisght) i can say that DS changed numerous times - just when i'd think we had some sort of pattern to follow, he'd change - right down to how i would actually be able to get him to sleep. i think around 4 months is notorious for wake-ups & alot of people talk about the 4 month sleep regression.
i remember at about 4 months just giving in & going along with the flow - DS would only sleep on me for naps in the afternoon so we would nap together on the couch. not ideal, but i felt a lot better once i stopped fighting it! by 6-7 months his naps were better & i wasn't napping with him anymore.
fwiw, i don't think you're doing or have done anything to mess up his sleep - he's just being a normal baby! chances are he'll continue to change - but i promise that they do seem to become more predictable!
it is tough when they're waking frequently....so make sure you're getting some down time & 'me' time when you can to recharge your batteries.
That's the thing though. I feel like if I keep putting off making some changes to our daily routine/ night rituals then it'll never get better. Or is that just my tired lady fog confusing me? It doesn't help that DP is applying more and more pressure for me to get the housework in order. I know his comments come from his ignorance. He thinks I should just put DS down, run around crazily trying to do chores while he screams, then pick up where I left off with him. He ignores the fact that if I let DS cry for more than a few mins he gets totally worked up, and is impossible to settle. He also doesn't factor in sleep deprivation and stress.
I think I'd stress less about doing nothing but napping and cuddling all day if DP was more understanding. When he gets home and the place is a mess, DP gets stuck into me about it sometimes, making me feel totally useless. Also, he criticizes my techniques but has none to offer other than leaving him to CIO. That strategy has always made things worse for us.
It doesn't help that it's been 3 days since DP has helped by taking over one of the evening feeds, or doing bedtime. He only wants to do the fun stuff, like playing and getting DS riled up. Then he's handed back to me to get him to sleep after DP's finished hyping him up. Arrrrgh!!! I ask him to follow my lead but he just ignores and does what he wants.
He's always too tired to help, so whycan't I be too tired to cook or clean? Mother doesn't translate to slave. Or does it? Ok, vent over.
What I have changed is putting him to bed during the day after 1.5 hrs of awake time without fail. He always goes off to sleep. He has a mobile over his cot and he watched that and drifts off. If I see him showing tiered signs then for him he is over tired. That's working well for us at the moment. But who knows what the future holds! Xo
Forshelb, with my son there was almost always 'something' for the first 18 months or so. He had little windows of settled sleep every now and then, but otherwise...
Cut yourself some slack and make sure your husband knows he needs to too.
n2l - It's tempting, but I don't think that'd solve anything...... just add fuel to the fire.
Arcadia - I'll have to learn how to do the back carrying thing..... I haven't tried it yet. It seems awkward? He loves the tv first thing in the mornings, but once he's over it, that's it!
jakabella - Interesting. I might try something like that.
Mad B - Ugh... the light at the end of the tunnel is looking more like a pin***** in a black canvas way off in the distance.
After DP came home and got stuck into a few too many beers, then went to bed early leaving me with baby duties AGAIN, I had a total meltdown. This morning when I got up, I was so tired and beside myself thinking about the day ahead that I just lost it. I put DS down on the loungeroom floor, and went frigging bananas. I cried, I sobbed, I just had to let it all out. FINALLY I think DP might get how hard this is on me. He swears when he gets home tonight he's on duty and I can have a sleep. He says he'll take DS out of the house and visit a friend for a while so I can have some silence. Hm. We'll see if that one comes true, he's broken promises like this before. So I'm not counting on it at all.
Kinda bothers me that I have to have a total freakout to get DP to take notice and get with the program. This is usually the trend. I soldier on and on until I just can't bear the burden on my own anymore, then I crumble and fall apart, and DP steps in and does his part. Then it's back to me for several more weeks of punishment.
I don't think he even realises this is what's going on. I think we need to sit down and discuss each of our responsibilities and come up with some sort of a plan. AND STICK TO IT THIS TIME.
Thanks everyone for the support and ideas... it helps just to know you ladies are all here when I feel like I'm losing it.
i never got the chance to say yesterday that i thought your DH was being delusional if he thought you would have time to get the house spotless with a 4 month old & esp a velcro baby. it's tough, but it really isn't forever - for us it was when DS could walk that he suddenly seemed more independent. he's still a bit velcro but things can actually get done these days!
if the housework slides for a couple of months, tough. unless he wants to do it!!
i hope he sticks to his offer of taking DS out & letting you get a chance to rest or just even watch some tv/read a book. i like your plan of sitting down & really sorting out responsibilities & a plan. one of my favourite sayings is - we're meant to be on the same side, not working against each other!
Yeah, he tends to say a lot of random ....... stuff when he's having a bad day. Instead of quitting, he had a big complain about some stuff and is going to talk to his boss about all the forced overtime. I agree his job is ridiculous, but it's our bread and butter. So when he asked me what I thought.. (finally) I told him if he wants to quit, go ahead- but to make sure he has something else lined up for DS's sake. It's like he woke up to himself when I said that.
I tell ya... what a week. My weekend was slightly better but I didn't get much resting done. I did however manage to bleach the shower last night (LOL) and I got to sleep in this morning after handing DS over at 7am and going back to bed. I decided I wasn't going to ask, I NEEDED to sleep, and wasn't giving DP the opportunity to complain about it. I couldn't hear him if he did anyway, I was sleeping.....
The No Cry Sleep Solution
) and I'm struggling already! So far I'm recording what's happening during the night, in an effort to get a clear idea of where I might be able to improve. Anyway, the first night he woke 9 times. Last night he woke 11 times!!!!!!!!!!!! His longest stretch of sleep was only 1 3/4hrs. I'm so tired, I don't know what I'm doing to mess up his sleep so badly. He wasn't even this bad as a newborn, and seemed to be getting into his night-time sleeps over the last couple of months. I feel like recording what happens is really highlighting just how crap the nights have been... and it makes me feel worse seeing it on paper!
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it is tough when they're waking frequently....so make sure you're getting some down time & 'me' time when you can to recharge your batteries.
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