n2l - It's tempting, but I don't think that'd solve anything...... just add fuel to the fire.

Arcadia - I'll have to learn how to do the back carrying thing..... I haven't tried it yet. It seems awkward? He loves the tv first thing in the mornings, but once he's over it, that's it!

jakabella - Interesting. I might try something like that.

Mad B - Ugh... the light at the end of the tunnel is looking more like a pin***** in a black canvas way off in the distance.

After DP came home and got stuck into a few too many beers, then went to bed early leaving me with baby duties AGAIN, I had a total meltdown. This morning when I got up, I was so tired and beside myself thinking about the day ahead that I just lost it. I put DS down on the loungeroom floor, and went frigging bananas. I cried, I sobbed, I just had to let it all out. FINALLY I think DP might get how hard this is on me. He swears when he gets home tonight he's on duty and I can have a sleep. He says he'll take DS out of the house and visit a friend for a while so I can have some silence. Hm. We'll see if that one comes true, he's broken promises like this before. So I'm not counting on it at all.

Kinda bothers me that I have to have a total freakout to get DP to take notice and get with the program. This is usually the trend. I soldier on and on until I just can't bear the burden on my own anymore, then I crumble and fall apart, and DP steps in and does his part. Then it's back to me for several more weeks of punishment.

I don't think he even realises this is what's going on. I think we need to sit down and discuss each of our responsibilities and come up with some sort of a plan. AND STICK TO IT THIS TIME.

Thanks everyone for the support and ideas... it helps just to know you ladies are all here when I feel like I'm losing it.