I can sort of see the point. But I would say that if my child was the child who couldn't play nice then that IS partly my problem: I never got down to teaching any social skills. I can't make friends for a child (and wouldn't want to - you're right, it's not healthy) but I can teach the skills to make friends.

Actually, I can't. Not that well. I don't really have those skills myself. But I do know some of the theories. DS is better at it than I am anyway. Also, you can listen and draw out answers alongside giving hints and advice.

I don't know if I would ask if my child was sad because of this... maybe how he felt about it. Because I never was sad about not having friends until it was hinted to me that I should be.

I suppose I get DS to articulate his emotions a lot without prompting him about what he feels (now he knows the words for his feelings) so it's a different style to me, so I can't relate so well. He can talk about what makes him happy or sad, what he likes, we have these conversations every evening now wrt his day. I love hearing him explain "why" too - I love a child's reasoning! But then I suppose that's PET too?