I am not asking anyone to change their opinion. I am asking people to think about how they critique this book - over emotive posts that are all about "TIZZIE HALL OMG DEVIL" (I know you are all more articulate then that, but it does illustrate my point...)don't do anyone any favours - including your own opinion/argument. I think if you want to critique this book, you can say that you think it's bad and the reasons why but over emotive posts that play on parents emotions are unhelpful for all involved.
I am only talking about TH and her advice and the reasons why I think the book is bad. I do this by illustrating points with real life experiences...what really happens once the book is read and put into practice. Im not saying YOU are a bad parent, Im saying that she preys on vulnerable parents, who as a result may ignore their own intincts, and make choices that may have quite negative effects.
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Oringinally posted by Dollyroux:
Over emotive posts that play on parents emotions are unhelpful for all involved...
I believe this is exactly what TH does only she does it through a $30 book.
I just wanted to add here that I think that unfortunately it is our western society as a whole that creates the whole 'baby not sleeping' issue - when really, there is NO issue, a baby does what it does - which is sleep when it needs too whether it be night or day, cries when it's hungry whether that be hourly or four hourly and seeks attention when it is awake and wanting stimulation/cuddles etc....
If I had a dollar for everytime someone has asked me since my son was born "So is he sleeping through the night yet?", I would be a very rich woman, and these questions started when he was only a few weeks old!!!!! Very soon I learnt to just say that he was, as otherwise I was bombarded with advice on how to get him to sleep through, which was usually CC, even from my female GP who has two kids of her own!! I wasn't fussed though, I was breast feeding about 3 hourly through the night, but back asleep within about 40 mins so I was doing pretty well getting my own sleep anyway, albeit 'interrupted'. It disturbs me how when you are pregnant people throw constant negative comments to the parents-to-be like "Get some sleep while you can", "You'll never be able to ..... have sex/go out/eat a hot dinner/etc etc etc again" which just STARTS the whole issue before a baby is even born. I don't know why some people even bother to HAVE children if they are so negative about it all anyway!! Anyway, the parents are already on the back foot thinking "What if my baby doesn't sleep through the night, or cries etc etc, they are already thinking there is something WRONG with their child before it's even born
In most cultures other than western ones, mothers sleep with their babies, BF their babies and wear their babies constantly - our society has ALOT to answer for and unfortunately with each generation it seems we are distancing ourselves from our children more and more and ensuring they dont 'intrude' too much on the lives we expect to lead. Personally, finding the BellyBelly site was a lifesaver for me as gentle parenting IS my style so having a community to support that is very important to me.
Although I don't support THs methods, I have read her book (truthfully not realising when I started exactly what her methods were), but I DID find some useful tips in there about sleep associations (we now use a sleeping bag during the day to signal nap time) and a few other bits and pieces that helped me understand how much sleep my baby needs and also I found that the routines almost matched my sons baby led ones anyway - so she's not totally off the mark there either. So reading the next age brackets routine has given me some guidance and expectation of how my baby is changing. So I don't think we should just decided as individuals what other individuals should or shouldn't be reading. It sounds like reading the book was actually fantastic for some of us in the sense that it very much reminded us what we DONT want to be doing, although in my case it was a bit of both.
It's all very well to tell a Mum to follow her instincts, but when a new mother is sleep deprived, emotional and recovering from birthing her baby, sometimes those instincts are not at all obvious to her, so she will seek guidance from books, internet and friends, just like most of us have by the sounds of it. There are going to be mothers that follow THs methods, or part-thereof, but as much as we might not agree with it, it's their choice as a parent.
I would hazard a guess that a large majority of parents that turn to these books are those who are hearing the "Isn't your baby sleeping through" comments and thinking that they should do something about it. I hope that over the next generations we see a return to gentle parenting styles and Mothers spend more time cuddling their babies rather than trying to get them to 'fit' into a timeline that is contrast to the baby's needs.
So after all that rambling, I guess my message is that each mother will choose what works for her, and what advice, guidance or method she identifies with. The best gift we can give a mother is support without judgement and let her know its perfectly normal to be up a number of times a night, to have a messy house because they are spending time with their baby, or that its ok to go home so their baby can sleep if they want too.
Otherwise if we force one way (eg gentle parenting) on a mother just because WE think its right, then we are doing exactly the same as Tizzie Hall and all the other so called experts out there that are pushing their agendas....
Dollyroux, if I linked article after article after article of studies done that prove that CIO of extinction crying and detatched parenting are detrimental to an infant/childs health, therefore proving that her methods are no good, would that be acceptable? I have gone well past the point of trying to explain it in a rational way because people who swear by TH just don't want to hear it. She is making MILLIONS of dollars from undermining a parents natural instinct and making them feel like ****house mothers in the process and there is nothing rational about that. I say that she is the devil or evil because she has all of these studies proving that what she is doing isn't good, yet she continues to do it? And make money off it? She isn't sitting around somewhere thinking, "hmmmmm, maybe what I am recommending isn't the best thing after all" NO! she just keeps churning it out.
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Very soon I learnt to just say that he was, as otherwise I was bombarded with advice on how to get him to sleep through, which was usually CC, even from my female GP who has two kids of her own!! I wasn't fussed though, I was breast feeding about 3 hourly through the night, but back asleep within about 40 mins so I was doing pretty well getting my own sleep anyway, albeit 'interrupted'. It disturbs me how when you are pregnant people throw constant negative comments to the parents-to-be like "Get some sleep while you can", "You'll never be able to ..... have sex/go out/eat a hot dinner/etc etc etc again" which just STARTS the whole issue before a baby is even born. I don't know why some people even bother to HAVE children if they are so negative about it all anyway!! 
Anyway, the parents are already on the back foot thinking "What if my baby doesn't sleep through the night, or cries etc etc, they are already thinking there is something WRONG with their child before it's even born 
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