sheyne rowley

[Bec1]

Hi, just stumbled across this conversation.

4 Yrs ago Sheyne stayed with us. Our 11 month old went from no day sleeps and crazy interupted sleeps to sleeping 11-12 hrs at night and 2-3 hr day sleep, big change in 1 day with minimal tears. (very different to sleep schools!) I purchased her book this year as my 6 month old was up to similar tricks. In fact I was having to feed her every 40 mins thru night. First night on new routine she slept the full night.

Yes the book is daunting but i think that is because you cant fix these probs fully without the full info. these things take effort, Also Sheyne is not a mother. Nor is my midwife but she was excellent. In fact I dont believe my physio has ever sprained her ankle but she fixed mine ok. Also she doesn't mind co sleeping if it is working for you.


in my opinion Sheyne is the best (if not the only) person that offers a sensitive and comprehensive solution for babies with real sleep issues and she is the real deal. Hope this helps those with difficult sleepers out there. Good luck!!

[prama]

thanks bec.
tho it is my personal preference to go for someone who's a mother themselves..

[Lulu]

Bec, TBH it would be very very rare that a routine could be changed in ONE night.

[prama]

Bec, TBH it would be very very rare that a routine could be changed in ONE night.

yes, i was going to add that too, im not sure a bub/toddler could sleep through the night after just one night of 'help'
we were in Tresillian for a week and only 2 out of the 5 kids sleep through the night, well most nights.

[BellyBelly]

In my opinion Sheyne is the best (if not the only) person that offers a sensitive and comprehensive solution for babies with real sleep issues and she is the real deal.

Errrr I have to strongly disagree with this. Babies don't actually NEED a routine or plan - babies have needs and many 'solutions' out there shape them to suit our lifestyle and make them convenient. There are many tips and different things we can try which can be very successful and very gentle.

Yes sometimes mothers and families get sleep deprived and tired and desperately need help. But there is no community, no wisdom being passed on, no extra hands... and the wisdom that is out there and available are in the form of some great books and parenting experts (who are parents themselves and know the emotion and hormones involved with that mother baby connection, like what it feels like when your heart breaks in two to hear your baby cry) who teach us that we are the experts, and most of us have normal babies, not babies with a problem. It's identifying those books and telling others about them against the big marketing dollars of other books. How is that the real deal?

[onthefly]

In fact I dont believe my physio has ever sprained her ankle but she fixed mine ok.

Yeah, but the thing is an ankle is an ankle, pretty much always the same, so I'm sure it's possible to learn to fix one without actually spraining your own. Children are unique, individual human beings (as are their parents) so the idea you can apply a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting doesn't really sense. Someone who's had children (and particularly someone who's had several) will know this.

[prama]

Bec, have other mums you know have had the same success with her?

[LMS]

Hi Prama,
I have known at least 2 other mum's who have had Shayne in their homes and they did nothing but benefit from her. I have also bought her new book. Whilst not reading it from cover to cover as it is rather thick, I looked for the sections that were appropriate to our issues and it made a whole lot of sense to me and my DH. We used some of her techniques when DD was not settling to sleep easily, and within 5 days there was a massive turn around. Sometimes you just need a little helpful guidance or a new idea and her's have truly worked for us.

[onthefly]

You can introduce yourself here.

[amyhunz]

I have to 2nd the positive praise for Sheyne! I think her philosopy is gold. My DD is now 17mo and a different child because of her advice. I can't praise her holistic approach highly enough. I realise all babies/ toddlers are different but her ideas are logical and sensible and I believe would apply to most children.

I must have read near 50 books on sleeping and her philosphy is the only holistic approach i.e. tackles sleep in relation to the rest of a child's day - eating, behaviour etc I bought the 'No Cry' books and the 'Save Our Sleep' (more routine focused books). To be honest, I got jack of the no cry/ gentle stuff. It just didn't work for my LO. A more structured approach was key. I don't believe in CC (as does Sheyne). Rather I believe in really listening to a baby's cries and interpreting them correctly. I know when my LO is crying out of the desire to have company or because she's over-tired versus when she's sick or has a genuine emotional need. Because she doesn't wake very often I know that when she does, it's out of a genunine need. Sheyne's philosophy helped me grasp this with confidence. I now get the sleep I need to be a better mum to my DD. My DD is also a healthier, happier child.

In the end we're all going to disagree, but I can only say what worked for me and I have no hesitations recommending her book to anyone. She is the reason I'm now pregnant with number 2...I thought my DD was going to be an only child!

[Bec1]

Hi Prama,

To answer your question, Sheyne has a 99 percent success rate for her personal visits. Obviously reading the book is very different to having her there. As far as babys needing routines, well I agree each baby is different and some just go with the flow and some don't (mine unfortunatley). All I can say is my kids have been so much happier after being on the routines. Some of the previous comments have made it sound like I wanted the routines so i could go out clubbing or something (errr) but was searching for someone with answers, and for me and lots of others she was the only one that worked. I'm certainly not saying that it is the only solution but people often come to Sheyne after they have tried everything else. And yes it is common with Sheynes method for babies to sleep thru first night. i've been to sleep school and certainly not the case there (i'm still racked with guilt after going there I can assure you).

Just thought it might help someont to know she helped me. You can contact sheyne on her web site but if you are stuggling then let her know as she does prioritise.

Again, hope this helps. please, no judgments for trying to do the best for my family.

[lily'smum]

As a mother to a 10 month old DD with serious sleep issues and a physio I have to put my 2 cents in!!!

We call this book the bible at Mum's group, it really helped our family get on track. I don't have to follow the routines religiously now, I am more able to allow DD to find her own groove, but when she gets lost or overstimulated and tired I am able to use the same reliable winding down technique to give her the sleep she needs.

Other books and techniques I've tried (and I've tried them all!!!!!) left me physically ill. But this book makes you role play for a week first and work on communicating with your baby so that when it comes time for "sleep training" it's not such a shock to bub. Honestly, there was MUCH less crying for us using this method than with attachment parenting, CIO, NCSS, babywise or tresilian(3 times). I never wanted DD to sleep I just wanted her to be happy when she was awake, for everyone's sake!
DD develops very strong sleep associations and would wake every 20 minutes if I rocked, fed etc to sleep. It got to the point that even she had worked it out and work scream and push me away when she woke. But on the other end of the spectrum she would not cry to sleep and it broke my heart trying
Sheyne's main message is don't fix what's not broken, so you don't have to use a routine unless you need to. She is also pushing the balance in the day affecting night, and this really rings true with us, if DD doesn't eat well (solids and BM) she doesn't sleep well and if she doesn't sleep well she doesn't eat well etc etc etc.

Yes, every baby is different, but actually so is every ankle. Each ankle has a different mechanism of injury, different capacity, endurance, needs to do different things (ie granny vs elite athlete).The difference is a baby is dynamic and ever changing and growing. At least this book recognises that.
I don't claim to be the best physio because I've sprained my ankle (and physio didn't work, I needed a recon) and I also don't claim to be the best mother just because I've had one baby! My point here is sometimes you need to refer on in order to get the best outcome. If you do your research (as you are now!) you'll prob find Sheyne has spent a lot of time with a lot of different bubs, and that's good enough for me. I was at the point where I would try anything and I'm so glad I did.
I find this technique doesn't lock us into a set routine for age scenario, as DD needs much less sleep than your average bub. It certainly hasn't got us sleeping through. But, that wasn't what we were looking for. All I wanted was a happy baby and that's what this method achieved for us. I'm not saying it will for you... But maybe if you've tried everything else and nothing has worked it's worth a shot if it makes your family happier all around?

In a nut shell I'm sold and it was much gentler than ANY other advice, book, method I have tried. Geez I should ask for some sort of commission for this promo!!! I am passionate because it changed my life big time and turned 2 screaming messes (me and DD) into happy laughing silly happy people.

Also, is it necessary to crucify one another on our opinions. I would assume most people asking questions on here are looking for help from people in similar situations. Shouldn't we be able to respect other people's opinions and support those looking for help? I thought that was the point? After all we're all struggling blindly through motherhood, where's the comeraderie?
Preparing self for onslaught of abuse now!

[amyhunz]

I had to say..."well said Lily's mum"! Very happy for you that you found something that worked.

I had forgotten all the stuff on communication. Sheyne is very big on this. And it does honestly make a difference. Just yesterday I left DD with HB without saying goodbye and she cried and cried. If I'm honest with her and say goodbye it's not nearly as dramatic. This is just one example of what Sheyne recommends with communication. It's now 2nd nature in our house (most of the time!) but it took a while to get there.

Anyway...all the best everyone. In the end we're all going to parent the way that works for us...I've learnt not to whinge about something unless I'm prepared to take on other people's suggestions and try...so if you're happy with the way things are, like Lily's mum said, why fix what's not broken? But for those looking for change...Sheyne really made a difference in our house :-)

[Heaven]

I know when my LO is crying out of the desire to have company or because she's over-tired versus when she's sick or has a genuine emotional need.

What I don't understand is why is the need for company not 'a genuine emotional need'????

It certainly is for me, and if I wanted a hug but my DH decided that wasn't a genuine need I think I'd be pretty upset too.

[amyhunz]

If you want to pick up your baby when you feel the need, then by all means! I did this for quite some time and it led to sleepless nights and a very cranky baby and mum. Not to say that this is the case for all, but it was for me. I had to learn what was her just 'winding down' and her just wanting social company. Keep in mind that she's now nearly 20mo and it's more obvious at this age what the crying is about (well, I've found this). Please don't judge me...I have a happy, healthy child. I think whatever you want to do is fine! Ultimately you have to be comfortable in your own skin with your decisions.

[amyhunz]

I think I might sign out of this thread for now...it seems I might be upsetting too many people! Thanks for all the posts and to those who've been helped by Dream Baby Guide, that's great.

[clairekerzner]

Hi Heaven,

I completely agree that the need for company is a genuine emotional need. That's why I think it's important to help guide your child toward feeling safe, happy and comfortable in their own space (when it's time for the transition, obviously). As long as they feel comfortable and safe, they won't feel that need for company through the night.

I'm not applying my ideas to anyone else here- just saying that this is what we experienced with Sophie. Before, when we tried to put her in her cot, she didn't understand why she had to be there when previously she'd been able to go to sleep snuggled up to mum. She woke up multiple times through the night needing company because that was the only way she knew how to go to sleep.

Our whole strategy (which took parts not only from the Dream Baby Guide but also from the No-Cry Sleep Solution and Dr. Sears) was to get her playing happily in her cot during the day and in the evening in the hope that she would start to see it as a safe and happy place. We respond to her as soon as she cried at night in the aim of helping her see that we're still right there when she needs us, even if she can't see us. And we still sit with her and rub her back every sleep time until she drifts off, because we feel it's a nice way to help her fall asleep feeling loved. We don't have any tears at all- she actually asks to be put in her cot now, and when we tell her it's time for bed she literally runs to her room and throws herself on the couch for her story-time. I never imagined she could love bedtime, but she does. And she now no longer wakes up through the night at all because she has indeed learned that she doesn't need company- not because we've deprived her of that company, but because we've given her alternative positive options.

Claire

[sleepyljm]

Hi All,

I always recommend Dream Baby Guide. I have a 9 month old son who has had many sleep issues. Sheyne recommends positive routine management (RPM) in order to create peace at night time. She also highlights the strong need for communication. All of the mother in my mum group have had much success from this book with bub sleep 12 hours at night. I personally didnt need to allow my son to cry because the routine and communication helped so much that i didnt need to.

Some people may say that babies don't need routine. But they need to be empowered. They need to know what is going to happen during the day in order to feel less anxious. Dream Baby Guide touches all aspects not just sleep time. I paid $40 and i am so glad i did. I am constantly refering back to it.

Everyone i know personally that has brought it is glad they did.... it just makes sense.