Have you looked into Parelli Natural Horsemanship? It teaches you many techniques to improve the trust and respect between you and your horse. It is very impressive to see the results that can be achieved in a short amount of time.
Yeah I have looked into a lot of Natural Horsemanship and spoken to many different people on the issue. While I agree with the theory of it I have heard that sometimes horses develop other issues (like head shyness for example)

The relationship with both horses is getting better on the ground but I spose I am wondering if all this good ground work and bonding in the paddocks will be helpful if I try to ride them.

I should add that when I walk in the paddocks with them I become the Alpha horse and they both fall in line behind me. This is something that just happened over the course of the years as well. I can even pick all four feet on both in the paddock without needing to tie them up so there is a fair amount of trust on their behalf.

DH just said he doesn't want me riding them in the round yard but I really really feel I need to at least try.

What to do ....