Shy & embarrassed about it

[tears_of_joy]

Okay,
I have just recieved an invitation in the mail from the MCHN inviting me and DS to attend a new mothers and baby group on the 22nd of this month....Problem is i am so shy and i get nervous just thinking about going. Before DS was born i was excited about joining a mothers group, getting to know other mums and hopefully make some friends and felt fine, i was also excited when i first got the invite. Now that i need to let the MCHN know that i would like to go i am extremely nervous. This probably sounds silly, i know, but i have always been very shy resulting in a lot of time at home on my own and really want to do this, i will need to tell the MCHN when i have our 12wk visit on wednesday.

What can i do to make myself go This is a little embarrassing

[visitor1]

I was the same....but i bit the bullet just to see what it was all about. I unfortunately had a group of mothers that always compared their babies to others and i didnt fit in, so never went back. But please....dont let that stop you. Go along...so many mums have a great time and u will get a good net work of friends and will be good for u to get out and about!!

[Enchanted]

I felt the same way when I went to my first MG meeting but after that I was fine. The other Mums are really lovely and it's great having people to talk to who have bubs the same age as Oscar and we can all relate to what each other is going through and you also pick up a lot of useful tips along the way!

[Beach Mama]

hun - maybe you could make yourslef og by just telling yourself you will go to the first one to see what is like and then see what happens. They really are brilliant and are definately the highlight of my week - the girls are all lovely and even if you dont feel like chatting much its great to hear all the stories that you can say - ooooh me too! It makes you feel a little less clueless hearing that others are going through the same thing. Good luck - I really hope you end up going!

[New Dawn]

I have moved around this great country alot and feel this way every time I have to find a new playgroup but you just have to do it. you will know if the women are the ones for you. even if you just sit there for the 1st few times try to speak up and talk, and just remind yourself that this is not school anymore and you have the right to speak aswell. I too was young when I had my 1st ( 21 ) and you can find it hard at first as the other women may comment on your age but most dont and you are all in the same boat you are all new mums and will all need the same advise. Good luck

[Jodie259]

Altough the Mothers Group is a great way to meet people.... you don't just sit around and chat with each other.

They have a leader from the council and there is a different topic each week. For example... one week you learn CPR and first aid, another week you learn about solids.
So maybe you should think about it like a "class" rather then a social gathering.
The things you learn at the Mothers Group classes are really helpful.

You don't have to chat with anyone... but it's amazing how you can't help but comment about someone elses baby... then you ask how they are going etc.

We had a large group of about 15 women in our Mothers Group. It was to go for 6 or 8 weeks. Some mums dropped off after 2 or 3 weeks. But most stayed around. When the classes stopped, then it was up to us to organise a private get together (at a house or shopping centre). You would find that the more dominant mums will organise those so don't worry about that. Our private get togethers started off with about 6 or 7 mums. But even that dropped off. I now keep in touch with two mums regularly... and another mum I keep in touch with by email as she moved away, and has a business.

You have nothing to lose by going to a mums group meeting. But you have sooooo much to gain. Even if it's just learning how to give your baby CPR in an emergency.

My stepmum's best friend is someone she met at mums group - 30 years ago!

[~Raven~]

I went along to mothers group and at the start it was the same as what Jodie had. There was about 10 to begin with and by the end of the four sessions it was down to 5. By that stage we were all quite familiar with eachother.
I put my hand up to offer my house for the first meetup we did away from the centre and for about a year we had weekly meetings at eachothers houses. Unfortunatley I was the only one who didn't go back to work and then we moved from the area so I don't keep in touch with them anymore.

It was well worth it though

[Rach75]

:hugs: this eactly how i felt, i now have 2 very close friends and 4 others who are friends as well, without mums group i would not have met these woman its hard i know but once your there you will be fine

[qhi]

I was PETRIFIED of going to mothers group...walking in, I rang DH in tears saying "All their babies are going to be cute and perfect, and Will is going to cry, and they will all think I am hopeless"

But then, I went in, and other babies cried! And some mums were having a harder time than me, and some of them wanted MY advice...

I walked out of there feeling 50 foot tall, and like I wasn't so alone anymore. I even walked home with one of the other mums, and it turned out she lived in the next block of flats!

Our bubs were very close before we moved, and we became great friends, babysitting for each other, and helping each other out (we both ended up with PND)

Go to the first 2 and see how you go.

[Karina]

I felt the same way too! When the MCHN cme to visit me in my house she gave me the info about the New Mothers Group and I was just going to not go becuse I was way too shy and self conscious and I dont do well meeting new people... But my hubby convinced me to go, and I'm glad I did.

Ours was the same as what Jodie mentioned. It was for 5 or 6 weeks and each week the MCHN talked about a different topic, then we all had cookies and tea afterwards. We still meet most weeks, either at someones house or at a cafe. The other mums even all did a first aid course together. I didnt go as I've already done one and couldnt be bothered.

It is worth going to, even if you just go for the first few weeks. Its nice to know other mums in your area.

[Firstkid]

I'd second what everyone else has said. Plus, remember that you've already got a guaranteed conversation piece - your baby - everyone will be talking about their pregnancy/birth/baby. And if there are awkward silences (which there always are amongst people who don't know each other), you can busy yourself with bubs. That's what I did and it made it so much easier than when you go to a party and know no-one. Good luck!

[Hoody]

if it makes you feel better take along a friend or sister or your mum etc. For our first mothers group meet up (we were all 1st time mums with bubs all born within an 8 week period of eachother) lots of the girls/ladies took ppl with them. It started off a large group of 17 but no's have dwindled to about 10 regulars. I learn from the other mums, my DD is socialising (she is now 19 months)and many of us are pg again so we are all in similar situations and live within 10 mins of eachother. I have made 1 close friend through the group and just for meeting her its all been worth it.