Townsville Mums #2

[MissWingBat]

OMG what a doozy.... Not knowing anything about your relationship and only casual bits here and there about your life on here, (I am assuming you are together) but I peeked at it and put it in my point of view - if that was my partner, and we were knowingly living, loving and having family together, I WOULD NOT TOLERATE THIS at all. Does he know you know? Has he talked before about these 'interests'? Do you share his interests? The main point is, IS THIS healthy to have around your children....???

If this was my partner, and in all cases where I offer my advice, it is advice only.... I would print it out, and wait for the kids to be in bed, and quietly ask him what it meant, what does it mean to your relationship, and what does it mean for the children - their safety and wellbeing...

I would be well and truly shocked, upset, and disappointed. Even if it was 'for a laugh', I would still be surprised to let this into our homes, our lives, and our sacred trust of our relationships...

Ok, to turn the coin and assume you guys are taking 'relationship vacation', I would still be questioning it. But I am unsure of your situation. I just put me in your shoes, for this example...

My heart and hugs go out to you Tanya....

[Emma-Lee]

OMG tanya....
I agree with miss wingbat, although i am quite hot headed so my reaction would be quite brutal.. you dont deserve to have that in your life or your childrens, i agree print it up and ask him about it. I looked at the profile and was shocked myself. I think its something you definetly need to discuss. Im sorry this has happend to you and its not your fault someone cant behave the way they should in a loving caring relationship.
keep your chin up babe
xx

[mummy19]

Miss WingBat I thank you very much for you onesty and words off support!! I need it now ... Yes we are living together and yes have a child, this has happened before in our relationship and i got very upset and he knows this! But yet he did it again! A few weeks back we got into a disagrement and i was ready to leave i took the kids and we went to Lollipops with my family, but that night i came back to him and our house! When i found this today i asked him (he is currently away so i cant confront him face to face) and he told me he set that up ages ago, i then said no it says it only got set up a month ago, he said he did it when we had that fight to "hurt" me, who would do that to some1 they love? And his been on there in the last 9 days also i found a picture of him on our computer that he had taken, holding a piece off paper i have now just found out that to prove the photos u post off urself on these profiles are really you, you have to take a photo off yourself displaying ur registration number, this photo was only taken on the 2cnd of August! Which proves this profile wasnt set up just to hurt me and he is still accessing it!! Sorry for the rant i just need to talk so some1 about it

[mummy19]

Thanks Em big hugs to you also! I think the stuff he has posted on that profile is quiet disgusting and the photos off himself, it isnt something a "father" should be doing!!

[Freya]

I dont know you very well Tanya but I looked at the profile and all I can say is - my hubby would be DEAD. That kind of behaviour would be on my "not on" list so I would have his bags packed and the locks changed.
For one, you are the MOTHER of his kids. Disrespecting the mother of your kids like that is unacceptable and THE worst thing a man could ever do. Secondly, I am assuming you are together full time not taking a break, but either way even if he was doing that while you were taking a break then he absolutely cannot be serious about making your relationship work.
He mustnt respect you as a person, woman or a mother if he thinks you'd let him get away with that kind of behaviour.

I hope I havent stepped on toes, its just Im a strong minded woman and dont feel that ANY woman is that low in her life that she should tolerate being treated like that. We are fabulous human beings and fabulous mothers and we deserve the BEST life has to offer.

[Emma-Lee]

here, here to anna... id have to agree that my hubby wouldnt be coming home tonight, and just out of curiosity i asked my hubby what he would think if i were to do that and his reply was well you dont want to be with me... and that our relationship would be over. its not something you do in a relationship.. even if you want to hurt someone.. that in itself is a little concerning..
if he has done it before thats really a cause of concern babe that he doesnt consider your feelings and sacrifices youve made for your family.
i think you really need to clear your head and work out what you want.

ANNA>>>>> where in bushy beach are you babe? id love a catch up with a "local" haha

[Nicola]

Hi Everyone

You go away for a couple of hours and come back to this!!!! Wow

I dont know anything about you or your relationship Tanya but I do know that you deserve respect and to be loved as a person and as a mother. I hope you dont mind a little advice from a someone you havnt meet!!!

It is very hard to find the strength to leave an unhealthy relationship and to not fall back into it again and again...its one of those life experiences that you unfortunately need to go through to learn from.....and even when you do go through it...that doesnt mean it wont happen again, it just means you are a little wiser next time.

Im sure you will make the right decisions for you and your kids and that you know in your heart what is the best thing to do.......

[MissWingBat]

Tanya,
I totally agree with Nicola. You need respect and love as a person and a mother. And you summed it up correctly when you said, that A FATHER should not be doing this sort of thing.

Honestly, what each and everyone does behind bedroom doors should not be made public, whatever your preferences. This is humilating for you, and eventually your children one day.

If he has to resort to such childish, improper behaviour to 'teach' you a lesson, then a close and careful look at this "MAN" (and I use this term lightly) is in order. I hate, hate, hate to cause anyone dramas in their lives, but as most of us girlies have been saying, there needs to be a solution found pretty quick.

As Emma said, clear your head, and come up with some safe and sound solutions to help your family. That doesn't neccessarily mean leaving him, but definitely setting up some ground rules to never, ever allow this sort of 'techno-infidelity' to happen again...

Big 'gugs' (as my DD calls them...)

[mummy19]

Thanks Ladies for your replies and thoughts its made me feel so much better to no i have so much support from use ladies who ive never even meet! I still havent had a chance to properly talk to him, but then i think i shouldnt even bother because his only going to lie to me anyway, and id probably just turn into a blubbering mess as i am feeling un-well today and had next to no sleep last night!

On a better note, i sat down last night and worked out all my driving hrs and i only need 9 more which i will clock up b4 Monday so i can send my book off and then two weeks after doing that i can do my driving test, and hopefully pass! then i can finally meet you ladies