4yo pushing boundaries

[AnyDream]

Thing 1 - grab some stackable plastic tubs/drawers from Big W & rehouse the craft things next to/under the craft table in the dining room.

Thing 2 - I don't know how you ladies who can't let your kids roam in the backyard do it! Seriously, it's a major sanity-saver for them to get outside. Could you increase the number of outings to parks/open play areas where DD could ramble, ride her bike/scooter/play in the dirt/sand? That's a really nice balance between scheduled activities & unstructured free play. If she can run off her energy an extra few times a week, you get the variety of going somewhere different, and she might be more compliant at home.

Thing 3 - when our DD was 4 she became more defiant too - it is normal for them to be trying to exercise more autonomy at this age. Open up the choices you give her in other areas (not wide open, give her an extra option or two) - so that she develops more of a sense of control. For eg, where would you like to go today? Or what should we have for tea tonight? But also introduce some cues about those times when things aren't open to negotiation, so she has clear guidelines about when she can negotiate vs when what you say goes, no arguments.

Hope this helps

[~Kim~]

I know all of you have girls but my DS and all his little mates are doing this too. It's less about the time before school but the last 6 months until the next birthday/developmental leap. They've formed the pathways now they're seeing what they can do with them.
I have to say the same thing over and over and over and over....killing me here.
While I do agree with the stimulation I also think kids need lots of down time and unstructured play. I know DS is much better when he has this.

[~Hestia~]

Yep my Moo was 4 in August and as a result he has lost his hearing He will not do anything the first dozen times I ask him and it really frustrates me. He gets lost when I ask him to do something, such as pack up his toys, I'll find him doing something else instead. He won't undress himself because he 'can't'. He 'can't' do lots of things at the moment! I think he just wants me to do for him like I do for his little brother. He has just started copying what I say to Buster, like just now I told him to get down so Moo gets in his face and repeats it, can see this getting old very quickly!

[Miss.September]

Thing 2 - I don't know how you ladies who can't let your kids roam in the backyard do it! Seriously, it's a major sanity-saver for them to get outside. Could you increase the number of outings to parks/open play areas where DD could ramble, ride her bike/scooter/play in the dirt/sand? That's a really nice balance between scheduled activities & unstructured free play. If she can run off her energy an extra few times a week, you get the variety of going somewhere different, and she might be more compliant at home.
Hope this helps

How much time? At home we have a cubby, swings, trampoline, sandpit and plastic climb slide thing. At the moment the sandpit has no sand - she wasn't showing any interest in it and it was a lovely haven for the rabbits We go outside every day, weather permitting. Minimum time is an hour but now the weather is better, it's usually most of the afternoon (around her other activities). Some nights it's after dinner too, just an end of the day play and run around with our dogs. On top of that, there is a playground beside one of her activities and she gets to play there before her class starts. Probably half hour to an hour. Then two days at kinder with outdoor play there too. She has both a bike and a scooter which she doesn't have any interest in. She either runs around pretending she's the Little Mermaid or she picks and scatters flowers.

I give her choices about things and ask her what she wants to do. Sometimes she answers. When she doesn't answer and I make the decision, it's always wrong. When I raise the question again, she still can't answer. She can choose her clothes, lunch, daily activities, all of it. But she usually doesn't. I even ask her if she would like me to get her anything from the supermarket lol.

Today, we sat down together and built a miniature dolls house that she can store her hair clips in. I glued it all together and she painted it. It's taken all morning and she enjoyed every minute of it. We took it to her room and put her hair clips in it. Lovely morning. Within five minutes of finishing, she was carrying on again. Pushed around her sister, made her cry, told me I was lazy and just grumbled.

I know, I know. Normal.

I'm just so tired!

[MummyNaomi]

Gah, they seem soooo ungrateful sometimes don't they? We get that here. We organise activities, or just spend time playing randomly with DS based on what he wan't to do for the morning, try to get stuck into a few chores, get dinner ready and all of a sudden he's in a sulk because he has nothing to do and seemingly expects to be entertained 24/7 - not possible!! Drives me batty when we have a house FULL of toys, a great back yard and PLENTY to do.....

One thing that seemingly does work is while I give DS choices of things to do etc, I try to limit the choices to 2 or 3 things max, it seems the more choices I give him the more indecisive he gets.

I've gotten back into the rotation and rediscovery of toys though - even at almost 5 this is still a winner........

[AnyDream]

Ok, sounds like she's getting plenty of outdoors, then! I also remember my DD mucking around with choice making, too. I think she did it sometimes just to be contrary - and unfortunately because mummy is the one she felt most secure with, I was the person who copped it the most LOL. All you can do is reward with positive consequences, eye contact, and pointing out how nice it is and how calm and happy she feels when she does the desired behaviour. Good luck with it, as far as I can tell it's a passing phase.