We were shocking as kids and would throw toys sing songs, climb out the window o_O etc. my mum used to sit in the room with us until we fell asleep, and now I stay with my kids until they are asleep. I know you have another baby so could you feed the baby in the dark room with the boys until they settle and then leave once baby goes to sleep. I would think a three year old needs lots of reassurance to go to sleep and the attention seeking at bedtime is his way of asking for this.