Talking is huge. Keeping your cools is hard, but even more important. TBH it doesn't sound like she's being malicious or purposefully naughty. It sounds like she's having a bit of a vague moment. I can still remember being about her age and doing similar strange things. Absolutely no idea why, like opening the front door. Biting through food packaging because I wanted to see what it felt like on my teeth. And I remember DS going through it too. I think if it's just a phase out try and remember that consequences might not be as effective. And it's a good lesson for mum and dad too that not everything that happens is a direct result of disobeying the rules. Sometimes it is innocent and forgetful. And we all have moments like that. But it's one for you both to talk about the fact that you feel angry and scared or upset because that happened and because what could have happened. Because that's more understandable to her than a consequence IMO. In my case a consequence of mess etc would be cleaning it up. And for the front door it might be ensuring they stay with you at all times (as boring as it is for them) until they can remember not to open the front door. And I would constantly ask her every couple of minutes to show me my hands in the car so you know that she will remember not to touch the seatbelt and realise how important it is to you. Follow through is important to me. It's our job. A little chat and then nothing doesn't work. Kids need repetition to learn. And it's our job to teach them. My kids may have found me annoying because I would treat a situation as a new thing to learn so it would be discussed at length over and over many times over the next week or months until I felt they got it. Just like learning sight words or maths equations, or reminders to go to the toilet when toilet training. It doesn't matter what it is they learn the same way. And as they get older it takes less for it to sink in.
So true that the 6 months before school is the hardest.
My elder DD went through a phase with the door too. She'd just wander off Luckily we have a quiet street, but with 2 police for parents you'd think we'd have that one covered lol. In the end I just had to make sure the screen was key locked and the key up high. A total PITA but she forgot about it after a bit.
I did also have to get DS's seat with the harness back out. He was not a fan of that at all. Thankfully though he saw the potential and I didn't need to install it back in the car (luckily as he's too big for it lol) When I get in the car and when I'm about to stop it I say "what's the rule with our seatbelts?", and generally he's pretty good now. Especially if it's followed up with a few "that's great you left your seatbelt done up until it was safe to take it off!!"s. They have to leave them buckled until I open their door.
Good point Kim - thanking her when she does the right thing, or noticing if she's followed your guidelines reinforces it in a positive way. Sometimes you have to look really hard for this!
Sounds all pretty normal to me. Assert your authority but never with hold dinner from a child. That is not a suitable punishment and really bothers me when people say they've done that.
So nice to read this and see that my DS is actually quite normal and that we're not messing things up too badly.
This is exactly the sort of thing he's doing at the moment (nearly 4) and we're doing most of the stuff you guys mention. I'll try harder to get down to his level and also keep more of an eye out for the positives and otherwise try to relax a bit.
Reply With QuoteLuckily we have a quiet street, but with 2 police for parents you'd think we'd have that one covered lol. In the end I just had to make sure the screen was key locked and the key up high. A total PITA but she forgot about it after a bit.
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